I have a friend who is probably on a plane right now. She is taking a much needed trip with her husband. A trip full of hopes for rest, relaxation, and an intimate reconnecting.
Their marriage was, is broken. They have gone through things I don't know about, for she is a new friend and I don't know their story.
And I don't need to know, really...all I need to know is that they need my prayer for this time and I will be there for her in prayer.
I thought to myself this morning- really, every marriage is broken. How can I say such a difficult statement?
Well, who spends more time with a spouse...than the other spouse? You live together, you sleep together, you share a bathroom... Two flawed sinful people who are selfish...married.
Flawed? Sinful? Yes. We all are. And we are all selfish. If we took a microscope, a powerful microscope and held it to ourselves, we would see that we don't love our spouses the way God does, the way God wants us to.
If you don't believe me, spend some time in the Word of God- James alone is a great book that exposes our hearts. But it's all over the place.
We are unable-physically, emotionally incapable of doing it alone.
And so it points us to THE source of everything we NEED. Jesus.
And so every marriage is broken...b/c we aren't Jesus. We aren't perfect and we break those promises all the time
"Do you promise to love, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor..." yadda yadda....you know the tune...
We can't keep those promises...we THINK we do, but if you really examined yourself closely to the standard of excellence...which is the standard of perfection...you'd see we all fall short.
We all have broken marriages and we all need healing.
And so I pray that whoever reads this- that their marriage gets a spiritual "nudge"- maybe "lift" of tender joy from the only One that can give it purely.
Oh Perfect Healer, mend our marriages- thank you for helping us see how broken we are...because that is the arrow we need to point us in the direction to come to You. Help us to love one another the way You love us.
Think about it, in our moment of intimacy, do we hurl accusations at each other? Are words misinterpreted? No, sweet, sweet loving takes place. Not just sexually.
Every person has that moment where we miss the mark in loving our spouse...outside the sheets- speaking here.
We get angry, we misinterpret what the other has said. We get hurt.
That's really the bottom line, isn't it?
We get hurt.
And the finger pointing blame game makes it worse. Does it really matter? Someone is hurting. Period. A relationship has been wounded.
So how do we avoid missing the mark? Well, I think it starts by knowing the truth. We will miss the mark. Our spouse will miss the mark. We can never be perfect, we can never love our spouse the way God does. And our spouse will never love us the way God does. But if we fix our eyes on Jesus and his steadfast love for us, perhaps we will miss the mark LESS. And so will our spouse.
And in fixing our eyes on Jesus, perhaps we can connect in different areas... on levels that have the same intimacy as our bodies do when marriage is celebrated sexually... What would our marriage look like?
The other day I received an email from our neighborhood emails asking if anyone had a bed. They said it was for a woman friend who needs a bed to lay on beside her husband.
You see, the husband has cancer and is now in hospice and will be coming home to ...well...start the process of truly going home. He is a believer. He will have a hospital bed and she wants to be able to be beside him.
I didn't even blink. I quickly responded saying yes we had a bed (we do have an extra twin that eventually will need to do something with.) And the lady was so thankful and they would come on Friday to pick it up.
Our plan is to bring over Walter's double bed and have a double and a twin in his room. Perhaps a bunk bed or something.
Well, that was yesterday. This morning I looked at the size of the double mattress in Carrie's room and thought, "How in the world are we going to move a double bed?" Our van is too small and the truck is probably too small as well.
I asked God about it. I knew He had a plan.
Just now I got a call from the friend of the woman saying they were taking a bed from another offer, that it had sheets and mattress cover and a headboard (we didn't have a headboard) and asked if that was okay. I told her, "Of course!"
She said it was no coincidence that I was brought to her, b/c as I told her before, that I would be a prayer warrior for her.
And so I am amazed- at how God works. Was He just testing me to see if I would respond to the need? Was He showing me that I do have a serving heart and when it's time to serve, that He'd show me and not to feel guilty about focusing on my family for a little bit? Was it just to add a prayer warrior to this journey of death and pain?
I don't know the why...but I know that NOTHING is coincidence with our God. Nothing.
And He loves us and He wants us to be open to serve Him whenever He calls.
I just hope I have eyes to see next time He calls.
Joy to the World- have we become so comfortable with the words from memory that we forget to really pay close attention to what we are singing?
I love that it says, "Let every heart prepare Him room" and also "and heaven and nature sing"
Let every heart get ready to accept and fully embrace this Son of God for ALL that He is! And ALL that He has done and will do!
When I stop to think about this baby, fully GOD coming to earth....leaving His comfortable spot on high to then be born in a smelly barn/cave...and yet amongst the sheep dung and most quiet place He fills the earth with His glory!!
We are saved, we are saved! Our Messiah has come! Oh joy to the world indeed!
"Joy to the world! the Saviour reigns"
"He: rules the world with truth and grace, And makes the nations prove the glories of His righteousness and wonders of His love"
Yikes. He rules with truth- stand back, we should feel so unworthy and our sins exposed against His truth of Who He is, yet...BECAUSE of WHO He IS, His grace, His unfailing love takes away every mistake we know (and even the ones we don't know about) and covers us with His love to where we are as white and pure as snow.
But if that's not all, because of WHO He is, He also makes the nations prove the glory of who He is and the wonders of His love
That's some heavy lyrics, if I do say so myself.
So Joy to the world, indeed. Let the Truth, the I AM, reign in our hearts and bring us to our knees when we consider all the majesty, all the awesomeness that our LORD is.
I have been listening to the rough draft version of my song, "You Are Here." Presently it is being fine tuned for the listening ear by the amazing producer, John Nanni.
This morning I was reading in Job while listening to the song.
You see, the song is about a time in our lives - may it be a long, long season or a short season, when life is...well, tough. Where happiness is a difficult place to get to and you have to really work hard on embracing the joy. It makes me think of Job, where God allowed Satan to inflict many sufferings on this man.
The entire book of Job (42 chapters) is this scene of suffering and pain. In the first chapter alone he loses his property and children. One person runs in to tell him the bad news and another runs in interrupting to give more bad news and then another comes in interrupting to give more bad news. And yet a FOURTH comes in to tell him about a house falling on his children.
Bam! Bam! Bam! BAM! All at once. I can't imagine.
And then God allows boils on his skin.
So after all this Job's three friends come over with their "new age" wisdom and they aren't much help. They tell Job his suffering is because he has sinned- and if he was innocent these things would not have happened. Bad things don't happen to good people. Which was the "wisdom" of that day. So sorry, but you brought this upon yourself, you bad bad person. So helpful and so comforting, right? Geez!
Back and forth the friends speak and Job speaks and near the end God speaks putting Job in his rightful place reminding Job of the majesty of who He is. Were you there are creation? Can you tame the Leviathan, the sea serpent?
But at the end of the book, Job is restored. BUT, here is where it is interesting (thanks for staying with me to this conclusion)
Job 42 verse 10 "And the LORD restored Job's losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before."
When was Job restored? After he prayed for his friends. The very friends that were quick to tell Job he was such a sinner after he lost everything.
Wow.
By the way, I am absolutely amazed at Job's first response after he lost so much including his children at the very begininng- chapter 1 Do you know what he did? He tore his robe, shaved his head...but he also fell to the ground and worshiped!!!
He worshiped the LORD!
"Blessed be the name of the LORD" he says in verse 21.
If this doesn't put us in our place and make us feel like complete whiners, when we look at our own lives at times and think "poor poor pitiful me"...we are really blind. May we have the ability to keep our focus even when life seems to be at its worst.
And may we have a better support group than Job's depressing, cruel and spiritually incorrect friends.
Sometimes we have a string of cold and wet days and man can that hamper your peppy mood!
It's amazing how quickly our mood can change, too, isn't it? I have found myself very moody the last month or so.
Maybe it's because we have moved and I just don't feel like I belong yet. A very lonely feeling. Maybe it's because my kids are 6 and 8 and I am beginning to feel more like a maid some days than a mom. Exhausting. And the "maybe list" goes on and on.
I can point the finger in a lot of possible directions- but truly, it all boils down to my lack of focus on the Lord. I forget all that He has done for me and all that He has given me. (And that's exactly what the enemy wants.)
What I did about 4 weeks ago- after God did a spiritual check on my heart and showed me the test results...(yikes!)
I prayed that God would open my eyes and see the wonderful things He has given me. I asked that He would help me see the nice things others would do for me, even something so small. A stranger opening a door for me.
And that leads me to this place today, this place of thankfulness and joy-- and I can see His hand working on my heart.
My day started and ended with encouraging friends. And it was such an awesome day! And so now at the end of the day, I am thinking to myself:
Even on the days where the cold and wet seem to drown out the sun and drown out the "fun," I need to keep a joyful heart, keep the positive attitude - so that I may be that blessing to someone else. It is a mentality, to guard my thoughts, my attitude and be aware when it's far from joyful.
I think about all the days when I forsake my quiet time to "do"
And it should be no surprise to me that when it progressively becomes almost habitual to neglect my spiritual health, the rest of me becomes undone. And I fail to recognize what is actually going on in my everyday life.
And that's exactly where Satan wants me to be. I am no threat to him when I am disconnected from my Father. And Satan can manipulate my world under my radar b/c I simply can't see it. Whispering what needs to be done: websites that are behind, camping trip to prepare for…blah blah blah…and I listen.
I can't do this life on my own. I can't. No one can.
We have to be totally and completely dependent on Jesus. For everything. Every day.
I can see a pattern of times when life gets nuts and I get so caught up with "stuff" and I fail to see the real problem- I am not connected to my "lifeline", and I lose power. Not my power, but the power that flows through me from the Holy Spirit.
A lamp does not have power and cannot light a room unless it is connected to it's power source. Not only connected, but turned ON so that the power can flow successfully in order to make it work.
AndI can look back and easily connect the dots.My 6 year old daughter could do that dot-to-dot picture. Out of touch with my Savior and out of control.
Who am I to think that I can do this on my own? I can’t.I have to depend on Jesus to give me patience, to give me the wisdom to parent these gifts of children, to give me the clarity to see things the way they truly ARE and not what they APPEAR to be- in my marriage, in my friendships, in my day to day drama,etc.
And who suffers the most? Certainly not me, I think the kids and my husband do. Because I fail to give them the best of me- because JESUS is the best of me. And I can’t give them JESUS when I am not connected to Him.
I'm reading Luke chapter 9
verse 1-2
"When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick."
And later on in the chapter, the Twelve could not drive out the demon in a boy. They had the power to do so, but I think they forgot where the power came from. They stopped being dependent on Jesus and so they were unable to do what Jesus sent them out to do.
Let us remember to be dependent on Jesus so we can do what He has called us to do.
I love Peter in the Bible. I love how he can open his mouth and say something without being afraid of others or Jesus will think or say. He can be himself.
He is open and bold and at times we mentally give him a "high five" Yes! Way to go Peter! Like in Matthew 16:16 Jesus asks his disciples who the people say that he is. They respond with Elijah, Jeremiah or some other prophet.
Then Jesus asks his disciples who THEY think he is. And Peter says, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."
Jesus says in verse 17 "Good for you, Simon son of John!"
Yay Peter, woohoo! He got it! (well that's what I was thinking) (By the way, Jesus orders his disciples not to tell anyone that He was the Messiah- not time for that yet)
And then 7 verses later.... D'oh!
Jesus tells his disciples the plan 1. must go to Jerusalem 2. must suffer much from religious leaders 3. must be put to death 4. WILL be raised to life in three days (how do they MISS #4!!!)
Then Peter takes Jesus aside and rebukes him saying, "God forbid it, Lord! That must never happen!"
I am thinking here that Peter maybe put his arm around Jesus or something to privately say this- and not looking face to face at Jesus b/c in verse 23 it says
"Jesus turned around and said to Peter, 'Get away from me, Satan! You are an obstacle in my way, because these thoughts of yours don't come from God, but from man.'"
WOW! Hard words to hear for Peter!
And then, again...in chapter 17...another fine "Peter Moment" not really Jesus takes Peter and James and John with him up a high mountain and in Luke it says they prayed. Then Jesus was transfigured into some major gloriousness, if you will. His face was shining like the sun, and his clothes were dazzling white (verse 2)
Peter then opens his mouth, again "Lord, how good it is that we are here! If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah."
And while Peter was talking a shining cloud came over them and God speaks "This is my own dear Son, with whom I am pleased- listen to him!"
POW!
Wow! Peter, Peter, Peter. Poor Peter. He probably wished at that moment that he would have kept his mouth shut.
I am like Peter. Sometimes I feel so excited b/c God reveals more of himself to me and I feel great that I start to "get it!" And then I go and do/say something silly or stupid and I feel more human with my mistakes.
But the great thing is that I can be myself. I love that Peter is so exposed in the scriptures so we can see ourselves. It's like looking in a mirror. And oh how the Lord loves Peter! Jesus chooses Peter to go on special missions- like praying on the hillside...like going in to the room and watch the daughter of Jairus be raised from the dead...(Luke 8:40-56) with ONLY two others- James and John.
So yes, Peter looks silly sometimes. So do we! But I think that's one of the things the Lord loves about his character. Can we trust Jesus enough to be so open with Him---when we get it and when we don't... so He can teach us His ways? Will Jesus choose us for special missions?
I pray Lord that I am bold enough to bring everything to you- even when I know it's embarrassing and not pretty, and oh so silly. Thank you for Peter, thank you for loving him even when he was a goofball. Thank you for loving me in such a way!
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we don't see"
What do we put our faith in? If you don't have faith in Jesus Christ and WHO He is, and WHAT He has done for you, then your faith is dead. Nonexistent. And you are a dead man walking. There is no life without Jesus Christ, He IS life...and so life without him is void.
Okay, so what about hope? Hope in this passage is not the wishy-washy "I wish for" kind of hope...it's not "I hope I get to heaven someday"...that type of wish is for something that may or may not happen- "I hope to be married," "I hope to one day have children" NO! This hope is secure, it's concrete. This hope is the promise of something better, something greater on the other side of heaven when we are done with this world. It's not the hope of something that MIGHT happen, it's the promise of something that ALREADY HAPPENED! Hallelujah!
Certain of what we don't see is not only "things to come" later, it's also NOW. I am certain that Christ dwells within me. I am CERTAIN that God still has authority over this world and that He is still in control. I KNOW with all of me that He has authority over me and that my eternal place is secure because He secured it for me. So, I am certain, I know, I put my faith in something I don't "see." My life should reflect that certainty, true mark of a believer, when people can "see" what "we can't see" within me. (Still working on that, a lifelong process, and praise God that He continues to work with me.)
So Faith, true faith, faith in Jesus Christ and His righteousness - means we are sure, we KNOW- every fiber in our being KNOWS that there is something better to come, and that His authority is past, PRESENT and future--JESUS is in the middle of it all. That gives me a "spiritual lift" when I can embrace that security that we have, and helps me with my fears of this world when I can embrace that Christ's authority over the storms, over diseases, over DEATH is no less powerful than when His sandals touched the sand two thousand years ago.
Walter said something pretty profound at dinner tonight. Carrie was talking about wanting a baby in our family. "I'll just tell God to give us a baby," she said.
I know what she meant, she meant she'd ask.
But Walter jumped right on that one. "We can't tell God what to do....he's GOD."
And Walter goes on to explain that God certainly doesn't need us to tell Him what to do, that if we say "do this" instead of ASKING, it's trying to boss God around.
And, it hit me...how many times do we try to tell God that some other way, something else is better? How many times do we try to convince God of something when we should really take the time and energy into listening to what God would have for us?
There is NOTHING in this world that goes on without His authority. He could stop it from happening. We will never understand the mind of God. How we forget that He is everywhere, knows everything and controls everything.
And so instead of, "God, wouldn't it be better if..." we say, "God, I don't understand, but Your will be done."
If could accept His authority for our lives, if we truly trusted Him, we would be completely different. Our lives would be completely different.
Here I am again A very familiar place. Sending my second (and God willing last) child to kindergarten feels like sending a child off to war. Well, maybe not THAT extreme.
But to me it is a very fearful place of having to completely trust that she is going to be okay. She is wiggly, she is stubborn, she has to work on self control. She can be difficult. And her very first teacher in school is...a first year teacher?!!!
Yikes!
God....are you sure...?
Let's take a look at four years ago. With my son, it was a different fear. He has always been a good listener, a good rule follower. I had little concern of his ability to adapt to a classroom environment. But he had a peanut allergy. Taking my hands off the steering wheel- and not being in control of his environment scared me. Four years later, I'm good with it. He's doing fine, now in third grade.
So here I am again. No peanut allergy, thank goodness. But it feels- again- like I have to completely let go and trust that they are in better hands...God's hands. And really, they have truly always been in His hands.
And my children belong to the Lord. He gave them to me for a little while, a borrowed gift, if you will. But they are not mine. So who am I to take a gift wtih a note that says "I have a plan..." and NOT trust The One who gave it to me? The one who gave it to me knows all along the path they will have to take.
And I am in a place where I feel like I don't have control. I can't "fix" this. I can't make it all better with a hug and a cookie. I HAVE to allow her to go through this time. As painful as it is, for both of us.
But I don't think I'm alone.
I don't think God watches His children go through painful times of growth without a care. If it's painful for me to watch, her earthly mother...how hard must it be for her Creator, her Heavenly Father to watch?
I HAVE to trust God.
"Fear not, for I am with you" He tells us in his word. (Isaiah 41:10)
We recently had a tough choice to make. We were staring into the crossroads of staying at our house now or move to my parents' house, coexist with them for a while and the kids start school in a good school system.
What's so tough about that one? On the surface it seems a no-brainer. Better schools, better community, flat roads where I can run and not damage my knees, a flat backyard that I don't have to mow (common field), a community pool, tennis courts...the list goes on and on...and it should be a neon blinking sign that says "GO!"
What is the problem? Why get all in a mess about this decision?
Well, we have lived here for almost 8 years now and we have served the Lord by ministering to our neighborhood. We befriended an alcoholic neighbor, a great person bounded by the chains of addition. We had Nashville Rescue Mission recovering addicts stay in our basement (two) after they graduated the recovery program. (That is a story in itself, but trust me when I say the Lord guided us and protected us.) For Walter's first two years of school I tutored two days a week and helped children that needed some reading help. Kids who sometimes didn't always come from the greatest background. We have ministered to a family from Iran- they live across the street.
So looking back at the years spent here and how we have served and loved our neighbors (literally) I have questioned whether or not God would have us move. Is there someone else that we are supposed to minister to-- that we won't be when we are gone?
But, we have served...and served. And served.
A friend commented to me one time saying "It sounds like it's time to focus on the family and that's what the move will do for you."
We have given much of ourselves to others and we need to step back, regroup and focus in for a little while.
But I had myself completely stressed out about the decision. Stay where we are in an area of need...or go.
Here's what I know to be true: No matter what path our family decided, we were still in the hands of our Creator. God would still love us, bless us and use us. He would never leave us.
A few weeks ago I heard the Holy Spirit tell me to quit focusing on the choice and stressing out whether or not I was pleasing my Lord...and to focus on Him. The rest would work out.
And it was then that I realized I had myself so tangled up in a web of confusion and worry that I had lost the peace and joy. I had worried so much about how and where to follow Christ that I actually pushed Him aside! I realized that I listened, anxious for an answer. Heard nothing. And then worried. It was time to truly let go. I knew we would be okay no matter what. And so I let go.
And since then the Lord has blessed me. The peace and joy that comes from Him has not been covered by distraction.
And you know what? Christians need to serve not only the lost...but each other. And so perhaps we are taking a break from the "lost" that are so prevalent around our old house and focus on serving each other, focus on our marriage, our family...and then serve other believers.
I know I'm not the only one who has wrestled with decisions- and having the heart to please God but being distracted by whether or not we are truly following Him.
Perhaps we don't need the whisper of "direction"...but the whisper of what He would have for us. The direction, for us, meant family. Our family. It's not selfish, it's a much deserved and much needed time of rest and restoration. Our year of jubilee, perhaps.
Watch your thoughts, they become words Watch your words, they become actions Watch your actions, they become habits Watch your habits, they become character Watch your character because it becomes your destiny
These are words I am going to embrace...and taking control of my actions means to slow down and let God help me think first.
I'll be a better wife, I'll be a better mom, I'll be a better daughter, I'll be a better follower and servant to My King if I can breathe in the Holy Spirit and breathe out my stress and frustrations.
We are at an interesting point in our lives as a family. Walter is in second grade and he is beginning to be picked on more and more. And so our parenting takes an interesting turn. What to do? How much should he endure, when to step in?
A boy after God's own heart at such a young and tender age, he is already a powerful warrior for the kingdom of heaven. He has such a grasp on the spiritual realm and asks many questions with a desire to know more...should it surprise us that he is already under attack? Satan is throwing his arrows already...trying to make Walter feel that he is ugly, not smart, not good at things...when indeed he is a beautiful kid with incredible intelligence and it's not just "mom" that sees it. The teachers and staff at his school sing his praises, what a great kid he is, how smart, how much fun he is, etc.
I understand that we need to go through trials in order to deepen our faith and our depence on God. I know that I can't come to his rescue all the time and that he needs to be strengthened by his life's experiences. But when is enough...enough? That is what we will have to pray about and seek the Lord's wisdom for. Does he finally have enough and defend himself with a push back? Do we homeschool him? How much rescuing should a parent do?
It left me searching my heart for what I know is true. Even God had to watch his Son go through trial after trial. He SENT Jesus here to go through trials and be tortured, laughed at, ridiculed....for US! How great the Father's love for us!
When I hear reports from Walter on how some of the kids are treating him, it makes me want to go kick some kid's butt. A part of me is so angry, like a mother lioness about to pounch.
Then I think of God. How God watched as men laughed at, bullied, killed the King of Kings! They ridiculed the One who left his place in heaven to come down for THEM! How God watched that and didn't scoop up his Son, embrace Jesus with loving arms and then pour out his wrath on the wicked earth with a huge flood again. How amazing!
And so God knows my pain. He knows it very well. He knows it PERFECTLY. And I believe He, as He did with his own Son Jesus, is sad to see it happen to Walter, to anyone. We are strangers to this earth- this is not our home. And we will have lives filled with difficulty, with pain. But, right around the corner...is the finish line to our hard race. Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father, at our finish line, He was bullied, He's been through it all and then some. And He is waiting for us to come home...excited to say "Welcome Home" ...where we truly belong.
Do you remember the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible? (Luke 10:38-42)
I have what I call "Martha Moments." I had one just the other day.
It's where I forget the important things and get distracted. On this particular day I was distracted by household duties, although it doesn't always have to be the case. Here's the play by play:
We were all in the basement. I look around and see toys scattered...everywhere. The kids and Jeff were playing foosball and having a great time. I cleaned, they played. I cleaned, they played. No one asked to help - they ignored me as I was bending over and laboriously picking up the pieces after what seemed a post tornado setting. Then they asked me to join and play. It irritated me to the point where I had had it. "You know, none of you have offered to help, I'm doing all the cleaning, and that's pretty rude."
Now, I can guarantee you that if I did stop and drop everything to play, the cleaning would not have been done. We, as a family, tend to be slobs. We move on to the next fun thing and rarely stop to clean, and it is so frustrating for me.
However, my frustration got the best of me, which it did Martha. I should have made a deal- discuss with them that I was frustrated, agree to play with my family asking that they help me clean after 5-10 minutes of play.
Instead, I scolded them. All of them. Did the room get clean? Yep. Did my family then help? Yep. Did I ever play foosball with them? Nope. There's the Mary part I missed.
Does that mean drop your priorities to having a clean house? Forget cleaning and have fun fun fun? Absolutely not. I don't think the Lord wants us to be slobs, I really don't. I think He would like us to be responsible and pick up after ourselves, and I believe He wants me to teach this to my children. However, in those moments, those valuable moments that need to be embraced, the house, the car, the work, the ...whatever can wait a minute while we choose the better part. And then we can get back to the house, the car, the work, the...whatever later. There is time for quality fun and there is time for cleaning. We glorify God in our cleaning as well, let's not underestimate the value of that as well. We absolutely should take care of the things He gives us. We need to be responsible with our time given so that we can have a healthy balance.
Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).
Our 7 year old son, Walter lied to me today. We were listening to music and it was hip hop bouncy music and he got a little out of control with a soft squishy bat and banged it against the side of the couch. I happened to be sitting at the moment on the couch so I knew it hit pretty hard. When I asked him about it, he lied. I showed him the mark on the couch and I was able to talk him into confessing that not only did he do it, but he lied about doing it as well.
Walter has hard time with disappointment. He doesn't like to disappoint people and is very hard on himself when he does "stupid things."
I told him tonight it wasn't the soft bat against the couch that made me so angry. It was that he didn't love me enough to trust me with the truth. He didn't love me enough to tell me the truth and it hurt.
He didn't fool me when he lied. I felt that smack. God sees when we do stupid things, THINK stupid things...and He wants us to love Him enough to be honest with Him.
Jesus did not say this life would be easy. In fact, He told us it would be hard.
Sometimes, life gets difficult because people disappoint us. Whether it's a failure to communicate or just the simple fact that people are humans and the human part of us makes mistakes. Many mistakes. And those mistakes can disappoint us. They can, they have, and they will continue to do so.
But I think this is a part of who we are as sinners. We hurt people and we get hurt. Simply because we are not Christ. As much as we can try to be like Him, we are still going to fall short and that's okay. That's why there is such a thing called grace. God's grace.
And God knew we would need to forgive each other. He tells us many times in His word and Jesus tells us in the words that He spoke 2,000 years ago-and those are words for us TODAY. Love. Love another. LOVE ANOTHER.
And so sometimes we need to remind each other to take the high road. When we just want to let someone have it, when we want to lash out because someone wasn't thinking and hurt us, let us take the high road and be quick to turn to Jesus and lay it down at His feet. And loving someone when they are not exactly the easiest person to love is SO hard, isn't it?
Jeff and I recognize that we need to help each other by reminding each other to take the high road. Whether it is a big ordeal or something as small and silly as someone cutting you off in traffic, we remind each other about the high road. Sure we could defend ourselves and get mad and say things or do things back b/c "they had it coming" or whatever...but what good does that do? It only makes the matter worse.
So the high road it is. Harder? Absolutely. Does it look like you are weaker? Perhaps, but only to those in this world. The One whose opinion about us really matters knows differently.
The higher road...seeking the applause of the nail-driven hands.
There is a book entitled "Good to Great." We had a sermon series a few years ago called "Good to Great."
I was talking to God this morning about living in the "great" life and my eyes were opened to the understanding that God is so way way beyond the great.
There are no words we could ever come up with to competely describe what it is like to live beyond the great life. A life with our eyes focused on our Savior and living in obediance to Him who has called our name even before we were created. To live moment to moment focused on HIS plan for us. A complete surrender, giving ownership of every aspect of our lives completely to HIM. What would that look like?
So Lord, our busy daily lives on this crazy chaotic temporary home called earth beg us to direct our own path. It begs us to know what is coming next. It also begs us to live not just a good life, live a great life. And a great life in You is...well, great. But, I know there is more. I know You are more. So Lord, bring me to that place where I am beyond the great life. Whatever that is, wherever that is, whatever that may look like. It is difficult to say that without being a little scared of what You may call us to do when we surrender in such a way, so calm my fears and teach me to trust fully in YOU.
I think many times we overestimate ourselves and our ability to see the "darkness" that could pull us in. Temptation, the silent deadly predator- the tool of the Devil, sits and waits...on the prowl.
And many of us think of the "really bad stuff" when we think temptation. We tend to think sex, drugs, alcohol, malicious greed, etc. But do we ever think about the temptation of "self?" We, as human beings are selfish, proud, jealous, unsatisfied creatures. If you don't think you are, you are fooling only yourself.
We took the kids to see Narnia- The Dawn Treader tonight. Great movie. I was disappointed that it didn't follow the book more, but nonetheless a great movie. The mist attacks the Dawn Treader, the Narnian ship. It preys on the characters and their fears and feelings. Lucy doesn't feel good enough, not pretty enough. Edmond doesn't feel enough like a man and they fall prey to the darkness. Then they recognize it, snap out of it and in the end are victorious.
But as I watched the movie, I kept thinking about how we can look back at a situation, sometimes, and recognize the darkness that was in it. How perhaps I was a little angry at a- something out of my control, and b-something so ridiculously small And unfortunately our fall to temptation usually drags someone else into it. And many times, unfortunately, it's someone who deserves it the least...the ones who love us the most.
"So lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil..." Jesus himself taught us to pray these words- not because we may gamble our homes and riches away in a casino, but because Jesus knew the Predator. He faced him in the desert. The Predator that knows our weaknesses, knows our fears and preys on them, ready to pounce like a roaring lion.
So let us lean not on our own understanding...but continue to live life in repentance - to Jesus and to the ones we unfortunately affect along the way.
I know that at Christmastime we like to focus our attention to the softer side of spiritual things...on the tender soft hands and feet of the most important infant in the history of creation.
And the story is amazingly beautiful, isn't it? So many miracles included in the story.
But this Christmas I am focused on the main reason why the baby even came. To die. Those precious soft hands will be pierced, the soft skin will be whipped, the most grusome torture will be the punishment this little one will eventually have to face.
Why? Simply said, because God loves us. John 3:16 sums it up so nicely, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
My grandmother went home to her heavenly father a few weeks ago. We gathered this past weekend to celebrate her. It was sad, as any death brings a level of sadness because we are separated from that loved one for a while. It was also gladness, my grandmother was 95, had lived a good life, but for the past few years she could not remember who anyone was. I can't imagine being in a constant state of confusion, frustrated that you should know this person visiting you but you just can't. Fear of the unknown. Good thing her faith was strongly anchored- her life was one walk of faith, seeking to know her Father's heart. Because when all else is lost, when you don't even know your own family, perhaps you still hold on to the most important thing in life to know. Jesus.
Family gathered from multiple states to remember her. All my extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc came to remember her. I have not seen much of my family for 7 years. Walter was a baby. And for one day, one day we gathered at the church and then went to my Uncle Roger and Aunt Karen's house and spent the day together. We spent the day doing what my Grandma and PapPap loved the most. Being a family, lifting songs of praise to the Lord and that house was filled with love. I am so blessed that I have a wonderful family. And the cousins, I think caught up in the moment as well, decided we need to continue the legacy of family and plans are being made to gather together again soon, perhaps the summer.
And as we drove the 10 hours back home, I couldn't help but to think that in death we were given a gift. In Grandma's death, we were somehow miraculously able to be there together. No baseball games, no other schedule conflicts. Amazing!
So Grandma's death was a gift to us, the gift that brought us together again. And in Christ's death He is giving us the gift to be together, with each other and with him...for eternity. And of course that would only happen if we truly knew Jesus. I believe we are a family of believers, and that, too is a gift passed down from Grandma and from the Lord. A legacy of faith, hope and family.
I am having this battle in my head whether or not to keep our pool table up or to break it down and store it somewhere.
We have had the pool table for 9 years - it's an 8 footer and it takes up a good space in our bonus/great room in the basement.
Here is what I am thinking:
Pros of taking it down: My kids, 5 and 7, could really use that space in the basement for playing. It would move many of the toys cluttering their bedrooms to the basement. It would create a playroom and perhaps the living room- the room you see when you open the front door....won't be so messy
Pros of leaving it alone: It's probably close to $300 to break it down and store it Will the kids play in the basement? It seems so secluded from the rest of the house and it seems like a dark dungeon down there. If the kids do play down there, Jeff's office is across the hall- and if he works from home, they will be a distraction- only on the days when they are not in school, but still...
Would love to know what you are thinking out there... What are your experiences, if any?
As I look out at the many leaves falling to the ground, I notice how bare the trees look. They look dead. They look as if no life is in them. And they will look this way for about 5 months. Isn't that strange? Almost half the year the leaves aren't on the trees. And it looks depressing and I miss my green.
But there is growth happening in that tree, we just don't see it. It may look dead, it may look depressed, but there is beautiful growth happening and we won't see it until the blossoms of springtime heralding a new day. Heralding in new everything, new leaves, new ring of growth in the trunk, and bringing in the freshness and newness of nature. Birds return and spring babies appear everywhere.
And so it goes with our faith. Many times the most beautiful growth happens when it's not full of green and flowers. The rings of maturity happen when we empty our entire self, when we let go of the things that keep us from being renewed. And in our quiet, seemingly lonely battles within that we keep to ourselves, our Savior is preparing us for the newness when we can raise our branches, our arms to the sky and proclaim in our flowering hands that He Reigns.
Jesus knows life is hard. Jesus knows pain, He knows loneliness. He was there on the cross. Longing for His Father, Jesus cried out! "My God, My God! Why have you forsaken me?"
And He wants us to praise Him, even when we don't feel like it. And that is where the maturity "rings of faith" grow.
And so, as the trees, let us drop our "leaves," our self, be broken, come to Him, and know that we WILL be restored. It may take a long time, but we can rest on the Promise of God, of Who He Is.
I think we all are prodigal sons and daughters at different points in our lives.
In the Bible there is a story of the prodidal son who leaves his father, comes home and his father brings out the fatted calf to celebrate his son's return.
And so likewise our Father in heaven rejoices when his children, his sheep, that have gone astray- when we come to that place where we realize we have wandered far from his voice and return. Some have wandered far far away for some time. Some of us maybe a few days where we have been too busy to hear his voice, be in the Word. And in that moment when we realize this, we, the sheep perk up our ears and our Father comes after us calling us, leading us back to Him. It was us that strayed, and it is Him that brings us back.
I love that kind of love.
"Bring Me Back" (click to listen) (May need to turn your music volume up- it's soft)
Sometimes it seems you're so far away on the days that are hard for me
When the going gets tough Is it me that backs away not trusting in the way of who You are?
(chorus) So bring me back back to the place Where I know your voice know your face
Bring me back to the place I love I've been wandering far enough ---- I know I'm the one The one who's been on the run running from what You have have planned for me
Jesus hold me now Jesus show me how to lay down my life so you can pick me up again
(chorus)
-bridge- I know I pick and choose which day I plan to use your Word as my guide Oh Lord, open my eyes
I am learning that "I'm doing the best for my son" has too much me in it.
Let me explain:
Tonight we were reflecting on the situation at school with my son. The school expanded from 600 to 700 students and they added portable classrooms and new teachers. I don't feel they went about it the right way, they sent a letter home last Friday explaining what was happening, not naming which students would be moved. I didn't say anything to Walter b/c I didn't want him to worry about anything. Besides, we didn't know if it would even affect him then.
They separated and moved Walter yesterday and THEN he brought a letter home last night stating he was being moved to another added class. I am irritated by this, I felt the letter should have come home a day earlier, giving the parents a chance to discuss this situation with their children, reassuring them it would be okay.
I have a neighbor who has their daughter in a school that is part time classroom, part time homeschool. This, to me, is the best of both worlds. I feel Walter can move so much further if I could do one on one instruction, but I also know the importance of a classroom setting and the dynamics it brings.
And "I want the best for my son" came to my mind when thinking about school and Walter. Two things occurred to me:
1. Too much of "me" is is that statement. "I" and "my" and only one "son" - and ultimately, we want the best for our children, but do we want it too much? If he doesn't get the best, will he not be good enough for ...who...me?
2. what is best for him? As a believer in our redeemer, Christ, shouldn't I believe that the very best for Walter is what the Lord has in store? Aren't His plans the best? Shouldn't they trump mine? Yes, and even when it means stepping back and it may possibly mean Walter may get in trouble.
Walter may need to learn this year, perhaps more than any other year...that the choices you make in friends will affect you good or bad. He already mentioned a situation this morning where our neighor friend tried to get Walter to go "the wrong way" and (Walter did not) but the other kid- "he didn't get in trouble, but he got caught."
As much as I dislike hearing this, it was a great opportunity to explain that even if he never got caught, the fact that he did it knowing it was wrong was bad, it was sinful and God always knows, always sees..... perhaps that was a good lesson.
And so maybe I need to take a step down, back away from what I think is best...and let Walter learn what it means to choose wisely in friends, how to follow someone who is trustworthy...
I realize that my life has been a little...well...nuts lately.
Jeff is in between jobs, we're searching for direction and the fast paced day to day craziness never seems to slow down, especially lately.
The other day I realized I was treating God like a toy. I would put Him back in the box when I was done talking or praying, and then continue on my day. I haven't been disciplined to stay in the Word. I talk to Him, but only when it's conveniant for me. Like a toy. When I want to talk to Him, I bring him out of the box. When I'm ready to listen, or read scripture, I take Him out of the box. When I get busy? Back in the box He goes.
Wow, what an insult to the Master of the Universe, Creator of the Heavens and the Earth!! I am so glad He doesn't put me in a box telling me He'll get to me when it's conveniant.
God doesn't belong in any box. We often say "Don't put God in a box" meaning don't limit what you think you know about God...He can do more than what we could ever imagine.
But adding to that familiar phrase, let's not put God in a box and neglect the most important relationship we could ever have. Let's not forget He desires an intimacy that can only be attainedy by acknowledging constantly that He is there beside us and sent His Holy Spirit to be within us.
And THE most important thing we could do EVERY day is talk to Him. Walk with Him as He walked in the gardens in the beginning with Adam.
How do we know that someone's intentions were bad? Did a car really cut us off or were they just not paying attention?
Carrie came home from preschool talking about a boy who, in her view, wasn't very nice to her. After hearing the story, it occurred to me that perhaps the boy didn't realize he was being mean. Did she communicate that it hurt her feelings or that she wanted to play ball and they weren't playing with her?
"Carrie, I'm not sure (so and so) meant to be mean. If you didn't say anything, he probably didn't even realize you had your feelings hurt."
I was hoping that this would lighten her mood and she'd brush it off, forget about it and move on.
Then, as soon as that came out my mouth, I realized that I had to take my own medicine.
I have a habit of later disecting a situation from the past and perhaps looking at it through a skewed lense. A discussion can seem like an argument, an innocent look my way can seem like a stare...when the original intention was never supposed to be negative. And Satan knows this and he uses it against me. And it eats inside me to where it is so difficult to find peace sometimes.
And so, in that moment, I realized that I needed to step back and not personalize everything. Let things bounce off my shoulders.
I think it safe to assume that most of the time, when I feel offended by something or someone, whatever was said or whatever the action - it was never meant to be offensive in the first place.
With Jeff seeking what God's new chapter in life and work would be for him, I find myself back to the place where I have to live my life trusting in Him on a daily basis.
Not knowing what the future brings can have quite a spiritual impact on me. You might say it builds character. But not just any character. It's building in me the dependence on my Heavenly Father and building a Christ-like character in me.
Now that makes me sound saintly, doesn't it?
Oh I'm far from perfect, and I'm far from being the spitting image of my Savior. I like to plan, I'm a list-maker. Unfortunately, I entertain the "worst case scenarios" ... I guess I do this in order to prepare myself for what could happen? And that can lead to worry and that takes me away, takes my trust away from where it is designed to be...in His hands. And there are many days when I flip flop like a fish out of water.
"It's going to be okay" "But what if ..." "God knows exactly where we are, He's been here, and He's already where we'll be tomorrow" "What if we have to move?" "I'd like to move, but what would that mean for family left behind?"
And so in this season of not knowing, God is building my character by demanding my trust, and commanding my ways...and I can't see where the next step is... like walking blindfold, I have no idea what to expect next- but I know who is leading me, and even if I have to countless times return to the point of trust, I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hands.
I was at Wal-mart today and was chatting with a woman who knew Walter from school. We talked about the importance of Christian teachers.
We were talking about the faith of a child, and how when we grow up to adults, we often take the Word in an egocentric manner.
We grown ups often read, hear the Word of God and immediately start thinking of ...ourselves. What does the Gospel say for me? How do this apply to me, how can I apply this to my life? (which are good questions) What has God done for me? What will God do for me? How can God heal me? and on and on
I find Walter and Carrie asking different questions. Who is God? Does God still love the devil? (Oh yes, Walter asked me that when he was five!) Does God get mad?
They want to know more about who God is. What does He look like? What is heaven like?
I look around at creation and see God - the trees, the sunset, the wings of a butterfly...but I don't always go to the Word to see who He is. I read the Word and try to learn something, but I don't always go seeking to find out who He is.
One day years ago, I started going through Psalms and I underlined any word that God was. I may need to go back to that and remind myself of who God is, and in that may I find myself in awe of this amazingly BIG God who is everywhere, everywhere in a spacial sense and everywhere in a time sense. And may it humble me that this God of wonder and majestic above the wisest and most powerful of kings...chooses to have me as his daughter and heir to the throne.
God was. The God we serve today is the same God who spoke to Moses, the same God who tenderly breathed life into Adam. But is that what it means when we say "God was?"
I think it means just that...He is the God of Moses and Adam and everything and everyone that has lived in the past. And we serve that very same God. But also I think it can mean so much more.
God's reign spans over yesterday, today and tomorrow. God reigned, past tense, over yesterday, true. But He still reigns over yesterday. Present tense, still reigning over what already happened. The sins we have committed, have been paid for. We do not have to pay for them if we believe in His ultimate sacrifice, sending His only son Jesus Christ to pay for them. And God knows the sins we will commit tomorrow. And they have already been paid for! Praise the Lord they have already been paid for!
I think it allows us to view the past and what has happened in a victorious light and to understand that time is not to God what it is to us. That He can still reign over something that has happened is almost impossible to understand. And that is the beauty behind the so many mysterious of God. And helps us understand that He reigns over today because He's already been here. He's omnipotent in that He's everywhere, but He's also everywhere in the concept of time. Reigning over the very beginning of "time" and the very end of "time."
And that gives me a sense of peace that cannot be shaken
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
I make mistakes. You make mistakes. We all make mistakes.
What I allow myself to do is create a level of perfection in my own personal expectations and when I make a mistake, I don't allow myself to embrace the grace from the one true perfection. I sit on the mistake, I recreate the situation in my head and let it eat at me until it drives me bonkers.
Why can't I just let go? Because for that moment(s) I am forgetting that not one person on this earth can reach perfection. Nobody. And when our pride gets in the way and we fool ourselves into thinking that we're pretty good, or we're not as much in need of grace and mercy as others...well, that's when we're wrong. Dead wrong.
And perhaps realizing that perfection is out of reach for any one person, perhaps that should motivate us to dish out grace, mercy, forgiveness, compassion, kindness and understanding for someone else when they make a mistake. Even when they don't realize it.
Only the Perfect One is perfect. Jesus Christ was the only person who could walk each day of life in absolute perfection. And He gives perfect grace, perfect mercy, perfect forgiveness. And perfect love.
We, the extended Johnson families- just spent the week in Panama City. We stayed at the Marriott Bay Point resort and had a great time.
The Johnson ladies decided on a morning of pampering that turned into an entire day's event. Their Serenity Spa was amazing. We started our day Wednesday with a trip to the spa, and decided after a short break to their hotel restaurant to return to the spa for more pampering.
We started with a mixture of hot tub, steam room, sauna and then moved on to massages. Aubrey was assigned to me. She was very good and even gave me some pointers when I explained that I'd really like to help my husband with his neck problems.
We had mimosas, Amy and Judy (aka- Mom) had pedicures and Amy topped off her day with a haircut and style.
The Johnson family used the public beach, St. Andrews state park. The sand was the softest I have ever felt. The water was a warm 86 degrees and the waves were gentle enough for a few days. We had enough time to get some usage out of the new boogie boards we just purchased at Alvin's, a touristy place to shop along the beach.
Then the hurricane Alex threatened our vacation. We watched as the weatherman showed us possible paths. It went west to Texas, but the beaches were still affected. The waves were big, the rip current was strong and a double red flag meant only ankle deep wading along the beaches was allowed. However, they had a nice lagoon beach and it was a lovely place to go to snorkel and even play in some baby waves. Three rays swam past us and it was amazing how one ray flipped up it's (fin?) and it looked like a shark. Scared Rachel, the almost teenager in our group.
The adults volunteered to watch our kids and Jeff and I had a date night. We had not yet celebrated our ten year anniversary (June 17.) So we decided on Sharkies, a fabulous restaurant on the beach in Panama City. The Oysters were fantastic and it was a fun evening.
So I think Panama City is a great place to visit, especially if you can find a place not so near the tall hotel towers, a little quieter area for some family fun. And the summertime is great because the place is not swarming with spring breakers. That is a party atmosphere I prefer to stay away from.
And staying in a hotel suite with two bedrooms gave this extended family of 11 some tight but cozy time together. It was great. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
My son is a bright child. He is not always motivated to do math drills or practice reading. He loves games.
So, I created a math game with playing cards.
I took out all cards except 2-10.
Then I created a box of squares with numbers 4-20 on each square.
Each player starts with one card. For every turn, they draw 2 cards.
They then select two cards to add together (leaving the third card in their hand) and find the sum on the chart.
They then discard those two cards they use to find the particular sum. The player then marks off that number on the chart.
For example, if Walter starts with a 2, and draws a 7 and a 3...he can select two of the three cards to use. He may choose to use 2 and 7 to make the sum of 9. He then marks off the 9 on the chart and discards the 2 and 7.
The player who marks off every number on their chart wins. (A number, (sum) can only be used once.)
If a player draws two cards and is unable to play (every combination of two cards has a sum that has already been used) they lose a turn and continues to draw two cards on their next turn.
There is strategy, you may want to hold the 2's, because there is only one way to count to 4 with these cards (2 + 2 ) but there are many ways to count to 10.
It is a great game for Walter, our 6 year old, because he can practice his adding skills.
It is a great game for Carrie because she can practice recognizing written numbers as well as counting.
My neighborhood has a sign that says "No Solicitation" and usually I remind people when they come to my door trying to sell something. I am usually polite, but quick to say "no thank you" and shut the door.
This time was different.
I just had 50 some high school and college aged students over at my house Sunday night for a graduation party. When the doorbell rang Monday at noon, I wasn't in the mindset that it was a solicitor.
He was very slick. He was college aged and looked clean. He said it was "meet your neighbors day" and that he lived on the street near the entrance of our subdivision. He could name the street and say where the house was that he lived. He said he was on a baseball team that won regionals and they were going to Hawaii and he was earning his way doing a fundraiser. He said they were selling baskets of books with Vanderbilt and they would go to children who needed them. He said his parents didn't want him to take advantage of his neighbors, so he would work it off. He said his dad owned a window washing company and gutter cleaning company. I let him in and showed him on the deck where my worst problem was. He said he could get it. I also told him that I thought I needed help cooking for victims of the Nashville flood June 4. He said he could get his girlfriend, Christina to help with that. He seemed so nice.
Scam. I wrote a check made out to QSI and after he left I did a google search. Same story.
http://www.ripoffreport.com/Search/qsi.aspx
I called the bank and stopped/canceled the check.
I called the police and filed a report.
I have very little tolerance for lies...especially when they are ones where people prey on the kind and generous people.
I am going through Carrie's bag of artwork that we got to take home after her preschool Family Night. There are beautiful brightly colored butterflies that I can't help but to want to tape on some of my windows. There are pictures where she can clearly explain who is who and what they are doing. What do I do with them? How can I tuck them away in a drawer?
I look around my kitchen and dining room and see the wonderful display from her creative hand and wonder what my house would look like if I wanted what we call a "Museum House."
There was a time when my house was clean and orderly. There was a time when everything was neatly put in its place. I laugh to myself because that was a time when my husband wasn't even home. He was on the road as a consultant. I saw him on the weekends. We lived on the weekends, so it wasn't exactly the cleanest house. And by Monday evening everything was put back in its place. A clean, orderly house. A quiet house. A lonely house. It was close to the "Museum House," although we were newlyweds so we had not yet had the chance to purchase "Museum House" furniture.
At this very moment, there is a dollhouse -still waiting for final decoration- in front of the fireplace. There is at least one load of laundry on my couch waiting to be folded. There are puzzles on the bottom shelf of the endtable in the living room. A dog bed beside the window by the front door...because I know how much Sampson loves to be on the lookout.
My dining room table now has papers spilling over that the kids have worked on...pouring their creativity into "gifts" for their parents...and water spills where the watercolor paint got a bit messy. Where do blankets go...you know...the ones you cuddle up with when you're watching a movie? I don't have a "place" for them...the closet is already taken with the basket of shoes and basket of musical instruments.
And so my house is not a "Museum House." Far from it. But this is a house where laughter is heard, where smiles are abundant, where memories are made. My house is far from clean 90% of the time when we have people over...for whatever the reason. We have board meetings here, we have parties here...we have spontaneous-no reason- get togethers here. And no one seems to mind that there's a dollhouse in front of the fireplace. No one seems to mind my butterflies on the window.
Will people remember the incredibly clean house? Nope. But they will remember the Johnson house as being one of the most fun places to be at. Where life is lived and lived well.
Well, it's been a while since my last blog.
Many things have happened to the Johnson Family.
First, I completed two back to back races...something I was a little nervous about accomplishing.
I ran the Country Music Half Marathon here in Nashville. It was 13.1 miles.
I ran it with my good friend, Jill. She is amazing. She finished...in pain. But she finished. I am so proud of her.
My big brother, Brad and I have always had the dream of running a marathon together.
He ran one in medical school and I ran one three years ago.
So together, we ran the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon (26.2 miles) the following weekend after my half marathon. My knee hurt, but slapping Icy Hot on my knee, prayer and the determination (stubbornness) I get from my father helped me cross that finish line with my brother, my rock. And just a sidenote- I am never using runner's "Goo" again...yuck. My stomach will never let me forget it...and 10 porta potties from mile 13-26 will slow your time down...for sure. But we still finished in 5 hours and 2 minutes. Not bad.
During the weekend in Cincinnati, we watched the news show pictures of our beloved city being swallowed by water. The Nashville Flood of 2010. And unfortunately, most pictures we had to see from Facebook updates because the news somehow didn't see it important enough to show updates on the entire city being under water. Crazy. But, as the new craze says, "We Are Nashville" and we will prevail. We will recover. We embrace each other as one and united we stand and rebuild. Too bad the news won't cover that, it's amazing to see the city lock arms.
And so the floods caused all interstates to shut down. We could not get home. So we waited a day and watched, and were able to come home to a house on a hill. Completely untouched. If our house is under water, then God has broken his promise not to flood the Earth again. Our house sits near the crest of a hill that is half a mile high. I have complained many times (just ask my husband, Jeff) that my kids can't ride bikes b/c of the hill. We can't play baseball in our year...because of our hill. We can't use our backyard...because of our hill. I can't mow the yard...because of our hill.
And after the floods, I sing a new song...praise God for my hill!
During our trip to Cincinnati, Walter started to lose his appetite. We asked if his throat was hurting and he kept saying no. Tomato soup and chocolate milk were just about the only things he would put in his mouth. Monday, a week after we get back from Cincinnati, he still will not swallow easily. We take him in to the doctor and he has mono. We are not exactly sure where he got it, but fortunately it has not taken all his energy away.
We are still under doctor's orders not to do any major physical activity, especially contact activity...because the spleen could rupture.
But, Walter hasn't missed any school, yet. I have let him sleep in and I have taken him in later in the morning. He will miss tomorrow...it's fun run and field day...no sense in wasting a day. We will do math, reading, and Playstation here at the house.
So there is the Johnson update...my legs feel fine, Walter is on the mend, and Nashville...I guess you could say it's on the mend, too.
Well, I blogged a month or so ago that Carrie tried riding her bike without training wheels. She did a pretty good job, but was still scared and wobbled a bit when she realized what she was doing.
I'm happy, delighted and excited to say that Carrie, on Easter Sunday, decided to be brave. It was all her idea. Off went the training wheels at my parents' house and she was off and riding! On Tuesday, I went to the park to run and the girl did 2 miles on her bike!
I guess it just takes being ready. Practicing is good, but she had to know when she was ready.
Way to go, Carrie!
Walter and I had a good breakfast. He ate while I read through the story of Palm Sunday. He has many questions and I love how God is at work in his little heart already!
Carrie and I went to her preschool post-evaluation conference. She was a good girl and let Mom talk...for the most part. It was encouraging and just confirms over and over that she is in the best preschool program in Nashville (Crievewood Baptist Church.) (If you have followed my blogs, we had a bad experience with another program in the fall and are just so blessed to have found this one!)
Carrie and I then went to Wal-Mart where we had to do some shopping. She was on her best behavior and we spent time looking at things and talking about toys, flowers and she picked out a toy and an outfit. Then we went to a Japanese restaurant. And she was pretty close to perfect. Quite the little lady. She picked up her chopsticks and even tried a crunchy shrimp sushi roll. She fed me my chicken using the chopsticks and we laughed and had fun. We came back to the house and she helped me plant and water the new flowers until Walter came home off the bus.
When Walter came home, he opened his backpack and pulled out his report card. For the boy who has had to work on staying focused, writing slowly and neatly and double checking his work, he had an excellent report card. I was very pleased. And no papers came home that needed to be corrected and returned. And his teacher even commented to me that he was working hard. Go Walter!
So the kids and I cleaned the dining room together. The dining room is more like our classroom right now, and that's okay. And they did it without complaining.
Good golly Miss Molly....Who are these kids and how long are they staying?!?! I ask myself
Dinner? Wonderful.
After dinner Jeff played the Playstation with Walter- a well deserved reward after working so hard and earning such a great report
Carrie and I played dolls and had a sweet time together.
And so today ends and I will remember this day...try to hold this memory on days that are not this great...so I can remember that perhaps another great memorable day is just around the corner...
I read an online ad about a Nashville mom/teacher who used trial products and for $4 got whiter than white teeth that look beautiful. So I looked into it.
It took me to a page that you could sign up for a trial...but there is always a catch.
If you don't cancel within 14 days, you are charged for the product.
And I have had experience before with gimmicks like this one. You can call to cancel, but it doesn't always get canceled, and then you have to fight the company.
I did a little research on the product and they are boasting that the main ingredient is hydrogen peroxide.
Then I did more research on how to whiten your teeth by just merely swishing the hydrogen peroxide.
Seems to work, rinsing 2 times a day with hydrogen peroxide, after brushing your teeth.
Seems like a harmless experiment, so I'm going to start...today is day 1 and I'll follow up with some results in a week.
We always do stories before bed. I've been reading the Easter story.
What I told him I later then had to go back to correct.
I told him Jesus died, went to hell, and then came back on the third day.
Walter then asked me if Jesus took some souls from hell to heaven with him.
I know there is much debate on this so I decided to do some Biblical research. I searched the scriptures and found nowhere that says Jesus actually descended into hell.
And we do know out of the very mouth of Christ himself, He said, "Today you will be with me in paradise" to the criminal on the other cross. So we do know that Christ ascended into heaven after He died, otherwise He may have said, "Today you will be in paradise...I'll meet you there later"
After much reading, researching I asked my father who then took the question to one of his pastors, and I completely trust his wisdom on the matter:
Some versions of the Apostles’ Creed do not have the phrase “descended into hell.” Jesus descended into the grave, to death. He was not cast into hell. He took hell for us, which is the full wrath of God being separated from God on the cross as he took our sin upon himself. That is the idea behind the phrase he descended into hell.
Today I had an awful feeling...what if someone ran a light and rammed their car into mine as I am driving across an intersection? It scared me, so I looked around and as I was passing an intersection, I was extra careful.
That was on my way to lunch.
After I picked up Carrie from school, an hour and a half later, something peculiar happened.
I had a green light, I was turning left and saw a car driving fast and running a red light. For a second I didn't think the car would stop. The car slammed on its brakes and it ended in the intersection where it missed us. It wasn't so close a miss that it would have scared Carrie. She didn't see it happen, but nevertheless...the car missed us. As I checked my rear view mirror I saw the car now backing up, back into its lane- out of the intersection. I took a deep breath and continued to drive. And the car would have hit my side. Carrie sits behind me...we both could have been hurt.
And I thanked my Lord at knowing that His hand was there to protect us today.
Coincidence that I had that feeling earlier? I don't think so.
And this is not the first time something like this has happened.
It happened to me after dropping Carrie off at school in the fall. I was less than two miles from home and I thought, "What would happen if I got into an accident...who would pick up Carrie if I couldn't make it?..."
And just moments later I was at a red light. I was the only one there. Stopped.
And a car hit me from behind. How this driver didn't see me is completely beyond me, it was a major intersection, noone else around but the maroon minivan.
How is it I had a feeling about being in an accident and it happened.
Coincidence? I don't think so.
Doing the dishes sometimes can be a time of quiet reflection for me.
In the quiet stillness of the evening, you can hear an occasional cling as a dish brushes another.
As I reflected tonight, I was brought to a place of worship with Creator. I thanked him for making me the way He did. He made no mistakes, He can't. He made the majestic mountains, He made the beautiful streams and rivers, He made the very sun. He didn't need it to bring forth light, but He gave it to us. All of creation testifies to His greatness. And in Genesis God says "It is good." But after man is created, the beautiful, wonderful part of creation God waited until the last moment, His masterpiece...He calls "very good."
Not just, "eh, ...it will do"
no no NO...VERY GOOD.
So how do we see ourselves?
So what about the parts about ourselves we wish we could change?
I have always hated my nose. It was a dark day in middle school the day someone said when I pull my hair back my nose looked "bigger"...not just "big"...."bigger". In other words, my nose was already big.
And after that day, I have always looked at my nose a bit differently.
When I was in college, someone once said I could be a famous singer b/c I had Barbara Streisand's nose. So there you have it. I don't have a small dainty nose. I have a nose that proudly says, "here I am" and with a bump in the middle of it. Much like Abraham Lincoln's nose...and, rightly so...because, after all...I am related to him. Hunt side. I promise. A great great (how many times great?) cousin of mine. Not a small dainty nose.
Okay so back to the point. I have always hated my nose. Which, in fact...is a part of me God Himself created. As well as my smaller-than-I'd-like chest, (but post nursing...well, let's not go into that...)
But my point is that all of me was made to worship Him. And when I embrace all that I am, a wonderfully made piece from the Creator of the universe....I should be immediately awed and respond in thankfulness and worship. The SAME HANDS that made the Alps, the SAME HANDS that formed the very first man...formed me inside my mother. Carefully. Taking every stitch into consideration.
My 6 year old son, Walter and I were reading about eyes, and how the pupil lets light in and the brain interprets the image through messages from the nerves.
I explained to Walter that his left eye will not see to the outside corner. Duane Syndrome. It was the 6th nerve that never developed or was damaged that has caused this.
He then asked me why God would give him an eye that wouldn't work.
Jeff quickly jumped in and added that God gave him two eyes that see, and that there is blessing in that.
And it then led me down the thought path towards my niece. I love her, she is wonderfully made. She can not communicate everything that is going on inside her mind, inside her heart. The autism part of her is a wall, sometimes between her and ...well...everything else. And she is wonderfully made. God made NO mistake there, either.
She is so happy, so very happy. She can be seen sometimes, off playing by herself, singing and taking her stuffed animals and having the brightest smile on her face. And perhaps she sees some things we won't see this side of eternity. Beautiful, wonderful things. Perhaps she isn't playing by herself, maybe there are angels with her that we just can't see.
And so again, there are no mistakes in creation. And so I will praise God for my nose.
Okay, I'm going to go political here...
so if you swing on the pro choice side, you may just want to stop reading here.
I do NOT want MY taxes to go to pay for an abortion. I believe life starts at conception, and I am horrified that the money I make will go to fund and support ending the precious life. I know people who got pregnant in college, I know people who had abortions b/c it was easier.
Cop out.
Sorry, but cop out.
And I know that most people choose to have abortions b/c they made irresponsible choices and it left them in an inconvenient predicament.
So someone gets drunk and gets pregnant. And they can end a life. No problem.
Someone else gets drunk, gets behind a wheel and ends a life. Big problem.
I realize that there are cases where it's not so cut and dry. Rape.
Someone is already traumatized by rape...ending a life in abortion doesn't make the wound go away.
But nevertheless...even if abortion is legalized...it should not, should NOT be financially supported by the tax payer.
Not matter what. Period.
Carrie tried Walter's old bike today without training wheels.
She has gone the length of the garage with me holding her backside in the fall, but this was different.
This was the real deal.
We went to the park and I pulled out the old bike. Now, it is missing a pedal, so pedaling with a bar instead of a pedal is trickier.
I walked/jogged beside her with my hand on the back of her seat, ready to hold her when she started to fall.
She has the ability, she did well when she didn't focus on the fear of falling. When she remembered she could fall, she started to panic.
She did a few runs about 15-20 feet without my hand...I was right beside her so when she started to panic and wobble, I put my arms on her handlebars to help her balance the bike.
If she could just believe in herself, and trust the one who knows she is ready to start practicing, she'd be fine.
How difficult it is to try something new, try something with the fear of failing, of falling, of getting hurt.
Getting hurt. That's a big one.
And the good Lord is never far with His arms. Sometimes falling and even getting hurt is necessary for our own personal story.
But if we never get on the bike without the training wheels, we'll never be able to experience the great feeling in accomplishment, we'll never be able to feel the thrill of the true ride.
So I caught news that the Disney store in the Cool Springs mall was closing its doors.
Now, if you don't know Cool Springs, it is a very prominent area of Tennessee, a very financially stable area of the nation, so it seems. When the cookie starts to crumble in the areas of Brentwood and Cool Springs, you know there is a problem.
Which leads me to ask...where is our security? I'd like to think that my security is heaven based. I try very hard to remind myself that although I live on earth, it is not my home. However, it's something I think I need to be reminded of, often. When Jeff and I look at finances and what is or is not there, we can tend to go into "control" or "panic" mode. Or I do, anyway. How can we make this work? Is there any way I can go back to work? We truly think Carrie needs one more year of preschool...and then perhaps in a year and a half I can go back to work...what does that look like for the Johnson family? And I'm a teacher, so it's not like going back to work will bring in loads of money...
We have to keep coming back to the fact that we are grounded in Christ. He died for us. He has already won the battle and nothing can take that eternal security away from us.
And no matter what happens, He knows the beginning, the spot that is NOW, and the end. He knows the path He has CHOSEN for us. And nothing surprises Him. He has prepared us for exactly where we are right now...and that has EVERYTHING to do with where we will be in the future.
What if Jeff loses his job and we need to move? What if we have to sell the house and move in with family? What if, what if, WHAT IF?
If I asked my parents in the year 1991 why we were moving to Nashville, they would tell you "because it's God's plan." They had NO idea that perhaps moving to Nashville meant that Mindy would find her path in teaching music and find her "promised, set aside just for her - perfect match" husband in her first year of teaching. I'm positive that our move to Nashville had so so so much more than just that spoke of the wheel, spindle of the web- there were so many reasons connecting us to the move to Franklin, TN. But reminding ourselves of that can help keep us grounded in faith--
that everything works to glorify Him, according to HIS purpose.
not our purpose, it's so not about us. It's about HIM.
I was reading Genesis 2 and 3 today at breakfast with Walter and Carrie. Now, let me set the scene here...snow day allows for a nice slow breakfast. Walter, 6, and Carrie, 4, are listening to me read word by word the scriptures and stopping every once in a while to further explain and check for understanding.
Trying to explain sin entering the Garden of Paradise was difficult. Explaining how sin and holiness do not mix. So I look out the window and see the blanket of snow still remaining on the ground and get an idea. We talked about how white snow is, and what happens when a dog pees in the snow. Makes the spot yellow, no longer white. Can it go back to white?
Nope. It's gross now.
Yep, so is sin. That's why we need Jesus, because miraculously, he can take the stain, like the dog pee, and remove it. Something we cannot do on our own, just like we can't remove the dog pee from the snow.
Thank you, Holy Spirit, thank you for working in the hearts of my children this morning. Thank you for prompting me to take advantage of our time together to teach about your ways.
May the Lord, our God, continue to work in the hearts of my children, and in the hearts of everyone who comes across this blog today. Take them to a new place of understanding of you, Lord.
We can live our day to day lives with having few personal connections with people.
A simple "please" and "thank you" can get you through the day while still feeling "good."
What about making it personal? Not everyone has the outgoing personality to strike up a conversation with someone, and would rather stay in their own little world. And that's fine.
But what if, just what if...we took our lives a step further and decided to make it more personal.
What if you heard someone was having a tough time...instead of just praying for them, or thinking about them...what if a card was sent, what if some small gesture reminded them that they are being thought of. It could even be anonymous.
What if, instead of just giving a dollar to the charity of your choice...what if you actually gave up a few hours on a precious Saturday to help? I know weekends are precious, they are for my family as well. I'm not asking you give every Saturday away...but what if you gave a piece of one Saturday away to someone in need?
Whether it's one of these ideas or one of your own, see how your heart is affected when you make giving...a little more personal
1. Help to rebuild a widow's house www.Bothhandsfoundation.org so that a family can help bring an orphan child home to love
(I personally volunteer with this organization and I am very passionate about it)
2. Visit a long term care center where the elderly are many times long forgotten and would love to share a minute or two with anyone who will sit with them http://www.bordeauxltc.org
(I happen to have the honor of meeting Ms. Black, a fun woman who is 104 years old!)
4. What about training as a first responder so that when some horrendous tragedy strikes an area, such as a destructive tornado, floods, earthquake...you can go help rebuild lives and rebuild people... www.hopeforce.org
You can actually cross that yellow police tape and go hug someone who has had traumatic loss!
(this one takes a weekend, but it is worth it to be trained to help!)
5. Volunteer to go read a local school, or even mentor a student.
I saw a commercial for The Biggest Loser tonight and I thought...
Why not have a competition between the states?
Between cities?
Seriously...each state gets three cities, one of which has to be rural.
Each city gets 20 people
The city news would keep track of the contestants and of course, so would the show.
Then each city would rally around their contestants. Have the contestants do community walking where people could join them...
Cities would compete against each other, but also with each other- because Nashville and Memphis would also be part of the TN team.
I started training for my second marathon I have ever run.
What I am beginning to experience is that I am not getting faster, I am getting slower.
Before my 9 mile long run two weeks ago, I was feeling good about a 9-91/2 minute mile.
Now I'm happy with a 10 1/2 minute mile. What happened?
I ran the Disney marathon in January of 2007. I am not sure what exactly happened- maybe it was any combination of going too fast, running on fairly large hills, not stretching enough...but somewhere in my training I eventually injured myself and kept running.
I almost ruptured my tendon. After tests and MRI's, I had three months of physical therapy.
I learned how to stretch my Achilles and surrounding tendons.
I have since run 2 half marathons (13.2 miles)
This year I am running the Flying Pig marathon in Cincinnati the first weekend of May.
26.2 mile run
I am running it with my older brother, and I am so excited about that.
What I find happening right now is that my knees are beginning to bother me. And I don't seem to have the energy to run at a faster pace than a 10 minute mile.
I have some Monavie that was given to me, so I'm taking a few ounces a day to see if it works the way "they" say it does. We'll see.
But I guess it's not how fast you run, the goal is finishing.
That, I plan to do, with my brother by my side.
Where does one go when they need a place to stay and no friends or family to help?
Lots of halfway houses for former incarcerates, but for just anyone?
It's been a while since my last blog.
Since then, our friend from the Nashville Rescue Mission, Garry, has been through a great deal.
Let me start by recapping the last two years. Graduated from Rescue Mission in fall of 08.
Left the assisted housing for graduates to drive a truck. Moved in with us while he was back and forth on the road.
Realized that was not God's plan. Moved back with us for a number of months.
Has had a number of temporary jobs. Tried getting an apartment.
Couldn't make ends meet.
What did God want Garry to do? What was the plan for him?
Garry then moved into the Salvation Army for a while so he could get a roof over his head, food and a job while he tried to settle down and listen to God's plan.
Garry hears a whisper from the Lord to take classes in a drug and alcohol counseling program.
Garry's older and closest brother dies of cancer.
Salvation Army says Garry can only go Saturday and come back Sunday.
Macon is a 7 hour drive and even more bus ride and then funeral is on Saturday.
How is that helpful, we ask?! 24 + hours to go and be back?!
Garry says to the Salvation Army that he really needs to go home to be with his family and the Salvation doesn't budge on their decision- even with a snow storm coming in. So Garry decides that he just needs to leave and so he gets on a bus for home.
Garry goes back home to Macon. Unfortunately, the family back home does not welcome him back with warm, welcoming and open arms. Garry calls and is coming back to Nashville. We look into halfway houses and communicate that staying with us is not an option.
Found out tonight a halfway house is $155 to get in. Who is supposed to cover that?
Here is my question...$155 to get into a halfway house. If someone is broke, has no money, has no car, has no job and has no place to live...where are they supposed to go?
As we see Christmas letters proudly displaying the achievements and whatnots of families... What God's letter says about Himself and His Son!
Can you just imagine if He were to mail you a card ...a year in the life of Jesus...
"Well, this year My Son, Jesus, in whom I am well pleased, knew it was time for his work to be... finished. He was tortured, went into Hell where, by the way, He blew the gates away for you...
Have a wonderful time celebrating His life as I celebrate and adore you.
I am sitting here on my laptop, my keys silenced for a short spell. I am touched.
The TV is keeping my kids attention for a little while, and that's okay b/c they are watching "Angel Wars," a cartoon movie where spiritual warfare is perfectly demonstrated.
I am hard at work, family newsletter to get out, hurry, hurry, hurry, get it done. A client needs things done to their website, hurry, hurry, hurry. Jeff needs me to create an invoice for another client....so much to do!
I get an email that someone sent me a card, you know...one of those with music and you touch this and this happens, and when you have much to do, it seems to take forever!
I heard a small voice tell me to slow down for a moment and take in this card that someone thought to send me.
I am so glad I did!
It was so gentle, and tender. A small voice sings as the story of the birth of Christ unfolds in such a beautiful way. It took less than five minutes and my spirit was restored to a tenderness and I tear up at thinking I could have missed this opportunity to remember the miracle and quiet perfection the way our Jesus came to earth.
Carrie is stumping me.
I'm not sure what she is doing. She's not shy, she loves attention.
Perhaps it's just an act for attention....
But for the last year, she will hesitate to walk into Sunday School, or preschool, where she'll either peak in or not at all, and almost hide against the wall near the door.
It's so annoying, because I know she has fun in there.
I helped get her started in preschool, especially since she changed schools (Thank the Lord!)
by walking her in, helping her by asking her what she needed to do next.
But we're a month into school now, and enough is enough.
This past Thursday, I kind of took her arm and scooted her inside where the teacher was and left. Maybe that will reinforce her having to go in and get her day started?
I don't know. I just want to know I'm doing the right thing!
And it's so hard on my heart sometimes!
Mondays are going to be my harder running days.
Wednesday and Thursdays are easier b/c I can drop my daughter, Carrie off at preschool and drive to a nearby park where I can put in my 2 or 3 miles.
Poor Carrie. She has training wheels and it is slowing her down. I run about 10 steps and then give her a push in the back. I don't want to rush her into riding without training wheels...but it would be so much faster.
I did notice her tires were extremely low, and that makes a huge difference. So before our next outing to the park for my run, I'll be sure to put air in all the bike tires.
What I am wondering is if there is any way I can make a handlebar off the back of her bike and with the training wheels still on, I can give her a push so she isn't so slow.
That would make it so much easier.
She is too young to ride without her training wheels, and she is too old to sit in the jogging stroller.
And it doesn't bother me too much b/c I know it's a season.
And unless God gives us an unexpected surprise, we'll soon enough be able to do the many things we can do once we graduate from training wheels.
But in the meantime, I'll just keep giving her pushes.
Why do we rush into Christmas?
This week, before Thanksgiving, we heard Christmas songs on the radio.
I kept changing the channels until I just turned it off.
I'd really like to embrace Thanksgiving first.
It's not that I'm a Bah Hum Bug. I love Christmas, I really do.
And I like Christmas songs. But how about save them for after we celebrate Thanksgiving
We politely shove Thanksgiving aside with a slight nod as we eat the Turkey and talk about what we want for Christmas and plan for the early Christmas shopping the morning after.
The Christmas season can very well be lovely and beautiful, but so can Thanksgiving, because we have so much to be thankful for. Let us remember the reason for coming together. Not to herald in Christmas, but to stop...and fully appreciate everything given us.
Genesis
I see God as a Loving Protector...
After Adam and Eve eat from the wrong tree....and I mean the WRONG tree!
If there were two trees...which one would you eat from?
Especially since God specifically said do NOT eat from #1!
1- "The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil"
2- "The Tree of Life"
Tree of Life to me sounds more appealing, but perhaps it's because I am aware of my mortality.
If I had no concept of death and separation from God, perhaps the Tree of Life would seem a bit...pointless?
So the serpent convinces Eve and she convinces Adam and the two forget the ONE rule...(wow, don't you just want to slap them?) and eat from the wrong tree.
Later, after "finding out" that His creation had indeed failed to obey the one rule, God says "Man has become like one of us"...confirming the Trinity
and now he might take from t he Tree of Life and eat and live forever
So God banishes Adam and Eve from the garden.
And God places a Cherubim and flaming sword by the entrance to guard it from Adam or Eve (or anyone) returning.
Because sin has entered the picture, Adam is no longer pure.
Also, God told him that he would return to dust, meaning his body would return to the earth from where it came from. Adam is aware of his mortality.
So what happens if Adam then eats from the Tree of Life?
Which this would then separate him from God. He, of course, is a sinner, but has not done anything to offer anything in repentance.
So perhaps God puts the flaming sword and Cherubim to prevent Adam from returning to Eden and eating from the Tree of Life...because God is lovingly protecting him.
Maybe it wasn't necessarily driving him out b/c Adam doesn't "deserve" to live in Eden, or not necessarily all punishment here, or even more to it than sin and impurity can not remain in the Garden of Paradise, but...
perhaps...
b/c of the possibility that Adam, falling to temptation again, would eat the fruit from the Tree of Life and be separated from his creator. Because God loved Adam. God loved, adored Adam.
Yah, I know what thought popped into your head...
"God loves sex"...yep, that's what came to your head when you read that, didn't it?
I truly believe God loves sex, He created it as a gift after two people make a promise to God that they will love each other and be selfless and etc. Of course God loves sex...it's wonderful, it's pleasurable and He gave it to us
But really, what I mean here is reproduction in the means of something coming from something else
God could create people with his own hands, (and He does)...but what I mean is, He can create them without having it be a beautiful, wonderful growing experience in a wonderful secret place inside a woman. He could just whip up a batch of people and not involve us at all.
But God chooses to.
God loves to create, but He allows reproduction by the permission of His plan
He is in charge, he is creating, but using us to do so...using trees, using animals...reproduction
v. 11
He creates "plants yielding seed", "trees with fruit with seed"
Even stars get old, die out and make new stars
Our beautiful Creator allowing us to be a part of the process, not only to witness it, trees, animals...things all around us...but to physically be a part of it. Beautiful!
Ever wonder why God created light before the sun?
Have you ever thought about it?
Day one, He creates light- speaks it into existence.
God did not need the sun for light.
Isn't that so impossible for us to comprehend. We, in our little puny brains, try to comprehend things based on their beginnings.
Everything has to have a source, a place of beginning.
Except God.
He has always been, and always will be.
But how about light? Isn't that just crazy to try and wrap our heads around?
God speaks light, there is light...and then 3 days later He creates the sun.
And, to add to the perfectness of our Creator, I think part of the separation of the waters (Genesis 1: 6-7) was to create the atmosphere, the layer of protection we need from the sun.
Before He created the sun that could harm us without the layer of protection.
And here's a teaser thought...protection...
Did God put the Cherubim and the Flaming Sword there-guarding the Garden of Eden and the Tree of Life for loving protection?
He knew Adam and Eve would be so tempted to go eat from the Tree of Life.
If Adam ate from the Tree of Life, how would that affect his eternity?
Loving protection instead of kicking them out? Hmmmm
This past summer around August-I heard a voice from the Lord calling me to help out a ministry in some of my "free time."
Now, the current state of my house reflects how much free time I have. It's a complete disaster most of the time.
But I believe it wasn't b/c I had so much "free time" on my hands as much as it was God preparing me for one of my next missions. Right now I am assisting a friend of mine in his fairly new adventure with a ministry called Both Hands Foundation
This ministry serves to the widows and orphans. James 1:27 calls us to help widows and orphans in the same verse.
I have never been in an office, really. I did temp work at Thomas Nelson 15 years ago, but that was the closest thing to an office atmosphere, I think. My office was the classroom and except for email and simple power point music lessons, that was the extent of my "handy office knowledge."
I don't know Microsoft Outlook as much as I should, and I certainly wouldn't be the most helpful admin assistant. However, here I am, working two days a week volunteering my time for Both Hands. I believe so whole heartedly in what the ministry does, that I find myself diving into learning how to be an admin assistant. I may not be moving mountains now, but I am learning how to fly. And when I get enough under my wings, I am going to take off!
And my house? Well, it's still a mess, but I'm slowing catching up there, too.
And I truly believe God knew exactly where He wanted me, and whispered the plan in my ear in August, it just took a little while until I had more direction and the "go" sign.
I am so frustrated with TV and what bad language they can get away with!
Yesterday, at 6:05, CBS went right from football to Sixty Minutes.
In their preview of what is "coming up," they showed a journalist saying the word, "GodD$#@"
Thankfully the kids were not in the room, but if they were? It was at 6:05 on a Sunday night!
We were eating dinner and watching football. So very wrong, so very frustrating.
It wasn't even a full five minutes following the football game that those inappropriate, disrespectful, foul, offensive swear words were broadcast on public television on a major network.
CBS has problems with language, I filed a complaint two years ago about their commercials and their language that were inappropriate for younger audiences. Heck, it's inappropriate for me!
I'm trying to teach Walter how to read and spell words...GOOD GRIEF!
I am so frustrated with all the ridiculous words that don't follow our own rules...
You know the ones...
Silent E changes the short vowel to a long vowel sound
When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking (like hear, aim, moan)
etc. etc.
Okay, so why do we have to make it so hard on our kids by making them learn words that don't make sense in the world of phonics. I understand, sometimes it helps to learn it's origin.
Okay, really? Does origin take priority over learning basic skills and moving on to bigger things?
Why can't we just change it? We change the s and apostrophe rule back and forth, why not just do a full sweep and change words like said- can't we make it "sed?"
Or how about was- how about "wuz?"
that's the way they sound!
why do we have a "ph" or "gh" that sounds like an "F" sound? Just use the stinking F! laugh- into laf
why do we have a "ck" sound that sounds like a "k" and "c" that sometimes sounds like an "S?"
Just use an S
It just doesn't make sense to me that we keep it that way b/c it's always been that way. Does it serve any purpose other than confusing the heck out of kids trying to master so many concepts? They have to stumble over so many rules, and then stumble over words that don't follow rules.
Our language stinks!
We ask why American kids have lower test scores and not as smart in this and that...we have the power to change all that.
We do.
I don't think it matters what exactly is changing, just the fact that life will be or is already different than what we know as "normal" or "routine."
And change can seem good or bad depending on our experience, on our situation.
Depending on exactly what is changing.
Job change can be exciting, job change can be scary. Job change can feel hopeless.
Having a baby is change. Even if you already have one or a dozen, that's one more person you are adding to your mix, one more to care for, to love, to have interest in and investment in their life.
We are making a change, in preschools. Not a huge change, but nevertheless, a change.
So what will the new preschool be like? What will happen with Carrie? Will Carrie be ready for kdg next year with a late September birthday?
The nice thing to know about change is that God is already not only with us, but at the other side as well. He knows the change, He knows what will happen and He has prepared us for this change. I'd like to think that our lives are mapped out, that whatever change is about to happen or happening, He has been preparing us for that change since birth. Even before birth, really. Because people involved in this change may have been born before us. Because it's all part of our story that He knows the beginning and the ending and if we let Him, he'll allow us to see the beauty in it
I was so impressed with Walter. We have been studying out of his little person Bible- and we've been in Genesis and talking about creation.
Last week we talked about how awesome it was that God spoke light into existence on day one and sky on day two. Revisiting that again today, Walter observed that God, on day two, separated the waters and called it sky. Walter said, "But God didn't make the earth yet." It wasn't a comment of doubt, it was a comment of trying to piece it together and a comment filled with awe. We talked about how the sun wasn't made yet (not until day 4) and God created light first thing. That God didn't need the sun to have light.
And separating the waters, we talked about the water in the sky, but also how there is a layer of protection above us that protects us from the sun.
So, perhaps, God created that layer of protection before he even created the sun.
So again, I am so thankful that God is doing His thing with Walter, b/c it's impossible for me to make him see how awesome and powerful and majestic our God truly is.
I'll do my part, but you can see God at work in Walter's heart and in his mind.
Do you ever think about what else is happening when you are praising God?
I thought about that the other day, how every part of creation praises the Lord, the mountains proclaim his greatness
how we join with ALL of creation, heavens, angels, earth...everything when we praise HIM...the I AM!
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth" Genesis 1:1
CHORUS
Oh God, may I join with the heavens
singing praises to your name
Oh Lord, I want to sing with the angels
singing, "Worthy is the Lamb"
Hallelujah, to the I AM
Holy, Holy, Holy, to the Lamb
Oh God, may I join with creation
proclaiming great is your name
Oh Lord, let us sing together
all heaven and earth bless your name
Hallelujah to the I AM
Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb
Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb
Your name is greater than any word in any language
Your name is more than any word than we could ever say
Elohi, My Lord, you're everything and more than we could say
On my way home from taking Carrie to preschool I was praising my God. Watching the rain come down, it was beautiful.
Words such as amazing, incredible, great, beautiful came out of my mouth.
Then I thought, these words aren't good enough. They will work, because those are the words we know, but when trying to describe God and who He is, He IS.
God describes God. It sounds weird, doesn't it? God, MY God, his name means all of those things and so many more!
His name is more beautiful, more powerful, more awesome, more....MORE than anything we could come up with.
So perhaps that is one of the reasons why when Moses asks God what he should call him, God responds in this way:
Exodus 3:13-14
Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"
God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you.'"'
Enough said. I AM. The God of your fathers. Need no more explanation.
The second time we see the word "love" in Holy Scripture is in Genesis 22:2
Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love and go to the Region of Moria. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."
Why would God even need to say futher "your only son?" To further emphasize that God knew exactly what He was asking Abraham to do. Sacrifice his son. Kill his son. His only son.
This was no ordinary little boy! (Not that any of us are just ordinary to God!)
But God tells Abraham (then Abram) time and time again that he will have offspring.
In chapter 12 of Genesis, God tells Abraham (then Abram) "To your offspring I will give this land." And so many offpsring that if dust could be counted, then his offspring could be counted.
And again and again God reminds Abram of the promised offspring.
And Abraham was 100 years old was Isaac was born.
Abraham knew the promise of, and He knew God was the ultimate Promise Keeper. So when God asks Abraham to kill his own son, do we see Abraham questioning God? No we do not. He got as far as to raise the knife to slay his son, his only son.
Did Abraham love this boy? Oh absolutely. Did he love God more? Yes.
Does God love us? Yes
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
He sent his one and only Son. One and only.
Only One.
We are getting ready to either purchase or make a dollhouse for Carrie. Because she plays a little more rough than other girls, I saw a need for the Loving Family set by Fisher Price.
They have plastic durable furniture and anything that is hard to break is good for Carrie.
Fisher Price stopped making Loving Family grandfather dolls! I had to purchase one off of Ebay. They have a grandmother, but no grandfather. How sad that the role of grandfather seems so unimportant, so little in value that it's so stinken hard to find a grandfather doll.
Why is he left out?
Carrie will be 4 on September 27th. I think the last 6 months and especially the last couple months I have witnessed significant growth.
I am trying to remember Walter and his growth.
It hasn't been that long since Walter turned 4, two years, actually.
I can't remember as much as I probably should- the changes that happened with him during that growth period. Perhaps it was just as noticeable and significant.
Carrie has improved her speech. We have been working on using her mouth and articulating so that her speech is clear. She picked up on it and has run with it. She is communicating better and better. She has learned how to sound out letters and form simple words. Her motor skills are improving to where she cuts and colors fairly well.
Three seemed like a "big girl" but holy cow, this turning 4 thing is amazing! When did my little girl grow up?
Granted, I still pick up after her probably more than I should, she is still a fast mover and can sometimes be a wrecking ball or a bull in a china shop, leaving a trail of where she has been. But that part will be refined I think with the next couple years as she matures even more.
But again, this approaching birthday seems like a big one to me. Where did my little girl go?
A few years ago, I went to a women's rest retreat. I went in ready to "listen and fix" and I went out ready to "listen and be loved."
God wanted to love on me.
So I was led to the scriptures, and I started to do a study on the word "love"
The first time the word "love" appears in the Bible is actually in Genesis 20:13.
And when God had me wander from my father's household, I said to her, 'This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, "He is my brother."'"
Abraham and his wife Sarah were in Gerar. Abraham, had repeated this scenario once before in chapter 12 (verses 10-20) in Egypt with Pharaoh.
Sarah was beautiful. Abraham was afraid the rulers of that area would see her beauty and kill him in order to obtain possession of her. So, here we see Abraham, fearing for his life, ask Sarah to tell half of the truth here. He instructs her to say that she is his sister.
She was his sister, same dad, different mom. It was very common back then to marry half sisters. But that was only half the truth. The other half was that she was his wife. That's a very important other half of the truth that was left out.
This had happened once before, and the Pharaoh had taken her, yet not violated her (just yet.) So Sarah knew what might happen when the question arose.
And she obeys, again, in chapter 20, out of selfless love to her husband. And the king of Gerar, Abimelech took her.
God intervened and came to Abimelech in a dream and told him he took a married women. So this verse is part of Abraham's response to Abimelech's question of why he did this:
"Abraham replied, "I said to myself, 'There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.' Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. And when God had me wander from my father's household, I said to her, 'This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, "He is my brother."'"
And, oh, by the way, this is the first time we see the word, "prophet" as well.
God says to Abimelech in verse 7,"Now return the man's wife, for his is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her, you may be sure that you and all yours will die."
Now, we can look at this the glass half empty- "she lied"
or we can look at it half full: she submitted, she obeyed, well knowing it may result in her being taken by the king
Where is God's glory revealed here? I think it is revealed in her obediance to her husband, in God's rescue and in God's continuning to honor and lift Abraham up, even when perhaps they didn't go about it in God's way.
And let us not lose sight of who Abraham was, the Father of all Nations. God chose this man to be a part of the eternal plan, even full knowing the faults and failures such as failing to trust God with his life. God walked with Abraham. WALKED, in the presence of, discussed his plans with him!
Chapter 18 verses 16-33
Kind of reassuring, isn't it? Even if we miss the mark, which we will so many many times, God still has us in His hands and will continue to use us. Not because He needs to, but because He wants to. He wants to give us that experience.
All I can say is, whew! Thank you for grace and mercy! And thank you that my life is not written out with all my faults and failures displayed for generations after to read!
Sounds weird, doesn't it?
Fly Swatter Word Game
What the heck is that?!
Well, Carrie is 4 on Sept 27th. The girl is scaring me with her spongy brain. She knows her letters, sounds and knows how to sound out words and even spell a couple.
Carrie is also a very wiggly, active child. She can do 4 puzzles in a row for 30 minutes, sitting quite still. After that? She's on the move!
So I made up a game.
I used an excel spreadsheet and on one column I wrote the following words in their own "box" or cell:
hat, mat, cat, rat, bed, net, pot, pup, cup
then I found clip art that matched the words
I enlarged it and printed it
I had Carrie practice her cutting skills and cut out the words and picture in each "box"
She accidentally cut a few, but nothing a glue stick can't fix.
Then after she cut them out, I took cardstock and cut it into pieces a little larger- and we pasted the word on a piece of cardstock, and then pasted the picture on another.
(So there is a matching "card" - word with picture)
Okay, so I took it to Office Max where I had them laminate it. $4 for the laminating and they are super laminated. Holy cow, I had no idea it would be thick and hard! Nothing can destroy these things!
So then we bought 3 fly swatters.
I put tape on the smacking side of the fly swatter.
I laid the clip art cards on the floor side up.
I put the word cards face down in a pile.
For each turn, we drew a card and each person got a turn to find their matching picture card and smack it with the fly swatter, causing the card to "stick" to the fly swatter.
After a while, we didn't take turns, we would race each other. (Mommy lets Carrie win most of the cards.)
This game is two days old, and just tonight, we played it in reverse.
We had the word cards spread on the floor and drew the picture cards.
I watched as Carrie would move her swatter over to "bat" and then hesitate and sound out the word, and then find the correct word, "bed."
A wonderful game.
If she needed help learning letters I could use that to.
You could use any matching cards- math, letters, Q and A for a test, whatever!
The Adversary is strong.
But God is stronger.
The Adversary tries to weaken us by putting pressure on different areas to try and push us down.
We can fight him off. We have the victory. We are conquerors. We have been bought with the precious blood of Christ, the Lamb of God- who takes away our sins.
Who comforts us, who rescues us, who has redeemed us, we are HIS.
I have been under some stress here lately, and I am tired. I am emotionally, spiritually, physically tired. Both of us are. We decided to lift a few things off our plate to give us a season of rest. But I don't feel the rest just yet, but I know it's coming. A few more things to "tidy up" so to speak and then I will have my rest I have been waiting for. A season to embrace my family, my kids, to love on them with fewer distractions.
In a time of short rest and relaxation in my bathtub two days ago I could feel Satan trying to attack me. I did not "feel" the power of the Holy Spirit at that particular moment, but I knew I could tap into it. So I started chanting,
"Satan go away, go away, go away
Satan go away from me
I'm saved by the blood of the Lamb on the cross
You have no power over me.
Satan go away, go away, go away
Satan go away from me
I'm saved, I am loved
poured out from his blood
You have no power over me."
I said it over and over again, and believing that God would still rescue me at that moment, even when I did not "feel" it. And after saying it for some time, I began to feel the weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt lighter.
And it reminds me that we must always be on guard. And often lift up words that speak the Truth. Because even if we don't have the "feelings" of one who has the victory in Jesus, we can rest assured that He protects us because He told us so.
And yesterday I started to feel tired again, and so I went another route, I chanted it again, and went to my treadmill. And I ran for Jesus. I ran to fight whatever depressing mood was trying to creep up on me. And I ran with praise music. And I felt so much better.
A daily battle, I cannot forget that it is a daily battle, and I must be ready to fight. Daily. And on that note, I'm going to sign off and go say a prayer for Jeff, to defend him on the spiritual battlefield today.
I have a family member who is going through a really rough season, and when it looks like it could get better - another hard day comes at her, so I wrote this for her
And it reminds us all that on the hard days- He is still here...He has always been there, and He will remain ...right here. And for me personally, if He seems far away, it's because I've moved. And when life is painful for us, don't think for a second that His heart doesn't break for us...He is our Father, and He loves us so
I remember a time back when
life was easier than this mess I'm livin in
My days were filled with laughter and with smiles
these days are gone with once upon a time
Just when I think I have come up for air
Life has beat me down again
My journey's long and my journey is tough
When will my Lord say I have hard enough?
(Chorus)
Then I reach for you to hold me
and I close my eyes and you are here
I feel your hand brush against my cheek
and you gently wipe away my tears
and I know You are here
And now I go to the source of strength
b/c the strength in me is gone
I would cry but I have nothing left
I'm empty, Lord, I'm empty
Come and rescue me
(Chorus)
-You’ve never left me, Lord
I know that You are here
Always by my side I know that You are Here
I’ll close my eyes and know that You are right beside me
I have been spending some time in Genesis.
Chapter 18 is where we find something I find I want to model.
The Lord appears to Abraham and then when he looked up Abraham saw three men.
Abraham 's immediate response was serving them.
He asks the men to grant him the honor of serving them.
As if it were a favor to Abraham for him to serve.
And he rushes to wash their feet, to serve them food, and he stands under a tree near them. Standing, awaiting their next need..a servants heart.
As you read on, The Lord speaks while in the presence of the three men and Abraham suggesting that perhaps the three men were angels or holy beings. God then talks about the future destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.
So, in Hebrews 13:2 it says, "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."
Okay, so
1- I need to approach the Throne is such a manner
God doesn't need me, He doesn't need me to do anything.
He grants me the honor of serving Him, by doing something FOR Him that He could ultimately do Himself.
I need to approach the Throne with such thankfulness when He asks me to do something for Him.
And remain standing, ready to serve His Majesty.
2-In serving Him, I may be serving one of His own holy beings! Wow!
and oh, by the way, did you know that Abraham was the first one called PROPHET?
Genesis 20:7
I have a theory- that God places children with special needs in the laps of the parents that He appoints - because He has given them special heavenly tools to raise them.
Patience, tenderness, kindness, flexibility, and many more. You name it, they've got it.
Within my family, we have children with special needs. Not in my immediate family of four, but within my extended family. It only takes a few minutes with them to see how special these parents are.
Now, I have seen children with special needs with parents that do not do a good job. I don't think it's b/c they don't have what it takes...I think it's b/c they don't use what is given them.
They choose to parent by their own standards, and not laying down who they are and picking up the cross of Jesus and following Him by selflessly serving Him.
The best manual for parenting is the Bible. Period. That's the best manual for LIFE.
And if you don't think so, perhaps you should dig a little further into scripture.
It's there, I promise.
To be a good parent, you must step back and selflessly see and meet the needs of your child before yourself. To be a great parent, you do these things in the guidance of our Heavenly Father. You seek His plans for your children. Not your own.
Which is difficult, especially when your plans are so different than His.
How disappointing it can be when you are holding your baby- thinking, dreaming of their wedding day, what will their profession be, will they make their mark on history?....only to realize later that these dreams of yours may not be in the plans of our Father.
That perhaps this little one may never understand relationships such as marriage.
And you "lower your expectations." But I think when lowering your expectations, you are not really "lowering" anything but your own will and kneeling, bowing and backing away as you realize it's not about you at all. It's about God.
And somehow in the midst of it all, there is glory given to God. There may not be anyone else that sees it, but the glory is given.
Sure, perhaps it's easier for me to write this b/c I don't have a child with special needs of my own. But I see amazing things happening when my family members take on the task of parenting these children with such amazing patience and finesse. And I can't help but to think that God granted them extra patience and extra understanding and extra everything to do what they do, b/c they do it so well.
And so perhaps they will be given a set of wings when they reach heaven, and the rest of us will join as the Throne room bursts in applause.
So there is a group of animal activists whose goal is to protect the lives of animals.
If we see a story of someone who has neglected, beaten, killed animals, many of us are upset and angry at that person who created such a violent, brutal act against animals- who I will go so far as to say are innocent.
I am not allowed to hurt or kill my dog, Sampson- especially if my reason was because it is more convenient for me to get rid of him.
I own him, he's MY dog--shouldn't I be allowed to do what I want?
No, it is cruel, it is brutal, it is harming not even someONE, but someTHING.
So rightly so that we should get upset over cruel and violent acts.
Even if the animal is the possession of the owner.
But what about the harming of the someONE's?
Why do we, as a nation, not get upset with the cruel, violent, torturous act of abortion? I understand the argument that it's the woman's body and we shouldn't be able to tell her what to do. I don't agree with it, but I understand that argument.
"It's MY body"
well, sure, "It's MY dog" but that doesn't mean I have the right to take an act of violence to it.
I also understand the whole rape aspect of it.
But really, after going to college and seeing exactly how many friends were raped and how many had abortions over convenience, I feel I can say with confidence that most abortions are done b/c of convenience.
But even so, yes, it is the woman's body. But, shouldn't the fact that it is brutal, violent, and murder override that? You can't tell me a fetus doesn't feel anything. As early as 20 weeks, that baby responds to what is happening on the outside. Spicy food? It feels it. Loud music? It feels it. It FEELS it!
Someone who kills a pregnant woman gets two counts of murder, it doesn't add up!
And so we, as a nation, sit back and allow it to happen b/c we are afraid, and we don't care enough.
And Jesus Christ was innocent. He was violently and brutally murdered.
If you don't think so, check the scriptures, physically, technically, it was TORTURE.
And babies are innocent. In their quiet, private, dark, SAFE place in the womb, they are PULLED apart, BURNED, or whatever method is used. To kill something that is alive is painful. Period.
Not to mention the fact that they never had a chance to voice THEIR opinion of THEIR life.
And that brings us back to the animal activists. They are the voice for creatures who can't speak.
And we listen to them.
Sad, truly sad that we see lives as animals as such a priority, and not the lives of babies.
So why can't we make credit cards safer to use and prevent fraud and theft?
Why can't a credit card have to be used with a driver's license number?
It's not impossible, let's make it so a sale would have to have that driv lic number as its code to go through.
When you swipe it, enter the driver's license number, just as you would a pin...
and if you are using it with a clerk, they'd have to check your license and key in the number.
That, to me, would prevent many credit card theft and protect many people.
"They already have something in place."
Sure, you can write "see ID" on the back. You can have your picture on it.
But when do stores EVER check that?
Almost never.
But to have to SEE something and actually KEY it in.
Hmm.
David, a man we have to respect with such high honors, was loved by God.
But, when you read in first and second Samuel, you begin to see the story of a man who was truly a man. Truly human, full of sin, full of mistakes, full of experiences that he wanted to erase from his "book" of life.
He was annointed, he killed the giant, Goliath with a slingshot and a stone while a armies with large numbers stood and watched. He won Saul's heart, he was servant to the king, and eventually became king, himself.
He also sat back and did nothing when his son raped his daughter. He had Bathsheba brought to him so he could sleep with her, and she was a married woman. He had her husband killed in battle and took her as his own wife.
And on and on, read it yourself, it's all there, the good and the bad.
I have to be careful b/c I start to lose respect for him when I read all the bad stuff.
He was totally worthless, a sinner with dumb, stupid, catastrophic mistakes that cost him dearly.
But God loved him and placed the crown on his head. God continued to love on him. Sure, he punished him, but don't miss the love story in Psalms poured out to God and God's love poured out for David.
And so David is made worthy, ONLY by the hands of the one true Holy One.
Would I like the book of my life to be written for all to see? No way. My story may not be as dramatic as David's, but I have my share of dumb, stupid mistakes. But in my book would also be the part where God loved me so much that He died for me, and not only that, called me in to His Kingdom. And my book should reflect that part where I pour out my love for my God. My songs of praise, confusion, my songs of total honesty before my God.
I am worthless, but because of Christ, I am made worthy.
"Take the Wheel" is a great phrase for "you drive."
But what happens if you have never heard that before.
I love it when kids are so literal. Here's what happened.
I took Carrie to the Nashville Adventure Science Center.
Great place, lots of fun for all ages.
There is this donated ambulance there that the kids can play on. Carrie loves buttons and steering wheels, so it's perfect for her. There was a kid already at the steering wheel pretending to drive so Carrie politely waited her turn at the passenger seat and played along.
The boy turned to Carrie and in their pretend play they have to help someone, so he told Carrie, "Hurry, take the wheel" and he was going to move to the back to help whoever was "hurt."
Carrie, never hearing that phrase before, and ever so happy that someone is playing pretend with her, says, "Ok," and gets out of the ambulance. She then quickly scurries over to the side of the ambulance and starts to grab the actual wheel of the ambulance. It wouldn't budge, so she figures it is still pretend play, so she yells back, "got it!"
I had to help her- so I went over and explained what he meant so that she could take her turn in the driver's seat and the pretend play could continue.
But how funny!
Which reminds me of another time when we were driving somewhere, and the kids were so loud Jeff and I could not hear each other.
So Jeff slows down and scolds them, "Hey! You guys are screaming at the top of your lungs back there and Mommy and I can't hear each other, now quiet down!"
It gets quiet for a second. Two seconds.
Then we hear, "Daddy? What are lungs?"
So as I am attempting to tackle this messy house, I am reminded of how far away our house is from being a "museum house."
You know the ones I am thinking of...everything in its place. No dust anywhere.
How do they do it? And it is just always beautiful.
I still get embarrassed at times when people come over and the house is far from clean.
But then in that moment when I feel bad, I remember what is important to me and my family.
And it reminds me of the Martha/Mary story in the Bible. Where Jesus goes to their house and Martha is busy cleaning and prepping for dinner and Mary is just sitting at his feet.
Martha, of course, is agitated b/c Mary isn't helping her. And Jesus gently informs her that Mary chose wisely. Dirty dishes you will always have...but the Savior's feet to cling to?
Mary chose wisely.
In 30 years, will my kids remember a clean house or will they remember more -the fun mom who loves them and will put almost everything and anything aside just to spend time with them? You bet they will remember the fun mom.
Now, I don't want my kids to grow up to be slobs. It is more than frustrating when you can't find something- and it's just because you can't remember where you (or your spouse) left it last.
There is a level of importance to cleanliness, there really is. But obsess over it? Well, there is a fine line.
My season of a clean house will come, when my kids are too big for "The Biggest Train Track Ever to Go Across the Kitchen Floor!"- but why spoil memories now?
Sure my kitchen is a mess. Be careful how you walk, but what you see is learning and fun in process. And most of the time, it's the Johnson 3 (or 4 depending on if it's a weekend) learning how to be a team, how to work together and how to build a family. And because of our time together, we learn how to love each other better.
And that is more valuable to me then clean baseboards and a shiny floor.
So Enoch, in Genesis is taken from earth by God. He "walked with God," the scriptures say. So he doesn't die. He gets a ticket to heaven without the pain or suffering of the dying process. Pretty cool.
And that is about all the scriptures say about Enoch.
That's pretty funny to me. In the Bible, we hear all kinds of things about all kinds of people, and the man who "walks with God" and does not die gets a sentence or two. Well, Elijah did not die either- but this is about Enoch.
So we can look back at history. There are people who get their names recorded, who will be remembered for a time. Some in recent past, some further back. And most likely, their names have been, will be recorded because of impact, negative, or positive.
And how long will they be remembered?
But how about the people whose names we will never know, but make big impacts on a heavenly scale. The ones who may perhaps walk closer to God than most on this earth. And their names are recorded on the hearts of people they have touched.
I can remember times where people have done or said things that have impacted me- but I don't even know their name.
So think about it from what you and I do on a daily basis, and what impact we could have- just by making life personal. wow.
All men are made in God's image. Says so in Genesis.
This really hit me the other day. How can we hate something that God Himself created in His own image?
There are a few people on this earth that are not my favorite people. Few others really make me mad. However, when I say God created (so and so) in His own image, it really demands a level of respect and Christian love, doesn't it?
Not only am I created in His image, but so is everyone else.
If I turn my thinking toward positive, then my heart is tenderized towards even the people who test my lack of patience.
It's 9 am. It has been a long morning already.
My kids were up before 7. Not such a big deal, but we had a good storm last night and it took Carrie a while to get to sleep.
And I'm just not used to getting up this early in the summer time.
So in my morning I have dealt with the pains of my child not getting to eat cereal out of the Spiderman bowl. Luckily we have 2 and I could find the other one.
And Walter gave up his Spiderman bowl long before I found the second one just to please Carrie. What a great kid!
We finished one of our Lego Speedracercars- which can be its own fun in itself with kids fighting over the small pieces that are vital to the car- the ones that can get lost in a New York minute.
The kids fought over the Speedracer car, so Mommy is asked to build the other car so they can each have one. (sigh)
Not enough coffee yet. Those kits can take me an hour!
So I dig into the instructions.
Then I hear the sounds that curse the morning. The sounds of my dog, Sampson, or his stomach, rather, as he then proceeds to barf on the nice carpet in the living room. Why not the hardwood or even the linoleum kitchen floor?
Not enough coffee in my system for this yet.
And I think Sampson tried to tell me last night. We gave him the leftover bone from Jeff's Father's Day T-bone steak. Sampson didn't eat it at first. He looked at it and it almost looked like he was saying, "no, thanks."
I guess he knew. And I told him it was okay- b/c it looked like he was asking for permission last night.
He tried to tell me.
Good dog.
But can we barf on the kitchen floor instead? Or how about outside?
So I'm reading in Genesis this morning- reading with my son, Walter.
We read about God taking Adam's rib and creating woman.
What didn't occur to me before this morning, is that Adam doesn't call her "Eve" until after they had disobeyed God and eaten from the forbidden fruit.
She is called "woman," and "wife," but it's not until after God tells her she will have pains in childbirth that Adam names her, "Eve."
"Eve" comes from the word, "living."
However, if we want a wise crack out of it, perhaps he nicknamed her "Eve," short for "Evil."
But why does he wait so long to name her? Does he wait b/c he wants to be careful how to name her? Not rush this beautiful "flesh of my flesh?"
He named the animals, gave them their specific name according to what they were. But to only Eve did he name what she is "woman" and WHO she is "Eve."
Interesting. Names are so important. So naming a child should not be taken lightly. Walter's middle name is "David."
Walter- powerful ruler
David- beloved
wow- that's pretty cool. A leader who is loved.
Carrie Evelyn
Carrie-"lively, pleasant"
Evelyn- from "Eve"- "living"
She is definitely "alive" and can be loads of fun
I guess we learn from an early age how to fight over the dumbest things.
Why should it surprise us later in life when we still fight over dumb things?
Be it political, be it marital, be it over whatever, it's still sometimes equivalent to fighting over a piece of lint.
"I had it first!" my son, Walter (almost 6) would scream at my daughter, Carrie (3 1/2)
And so the screaming match begins quickly progressing to arms joining in.
Over something so silly. If they could just learn to wait 5 minutes and the one is tired of it and it's all theirs.
It could be ball, a pen, a rubber band, a piece of LINT for crying out loud. But b/c the one has it, the other MUST have it as well.
Or how about pushing in line. I always had to remind students that they will all get to where they need to go and there is no need to "cut the line" or even push. Didn't matter if they were 5 or 15. Crazy.
So why should we be surprised when later in life - while driving, someone cuts you off at a merge?! I see it all the time a half a mile near our house. If you drive Nolensville Road southbound from Old Hickory, it takes only about 15 yards to enter this spot.
It's right after the stoplight at Ace and Walmart.
That's the dividing line - the piece of lint...that causes drivers to be so angry at another car- that almost caused an accident.
Because they "must be first"
Really? One car ahead? We are going to be so childish over something so stupid.
The piece of road that divides. Same piece of lint.
(please read part on first to understand what I'm trying to tackle here)
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It's interesting, he'll be 6 in two weeks. He just finished his first year of kindergarten. We haven't seen name calling this year at all from him.
I think the only time he called anyone a name was he time where he called Carrie (our 3 year old) an idiot...she called Sampson, our dog, girl. This was fall 08, shortly after kdg started.
"He's a boy, you idiot!" and he knew right away what he did. He went to his room for some
time alone, and that was the last we had to deal with that with him.
And that's saying a lot considering he's going to a metro Nashville public school where all kinds of cultures and languages and lack of "mouth filters" are introduced.
Perhaps it's just an age thing at preschool?
I say this b/c my daughter has been at preschool this year and we are in this territory again.
"Sillyhead"
Not a bad name...but she started calling everyone "sillyhead" trying to be funny and fun.
And it got old. Fast.
What Jeff (her dad) did is tell her she can call him "Papa Bear" since we call her "Care Bear."
And explained that was different from name calling.
For a while I thought, Carrie can be permitted to call only me, her mother, "sillyhead." Maybe that would allow her to have some fun and get it out of her system. That was a few months ago. Since then we have only heard "sillyhead" a few times. It seems to have died away.
With two bachelors with a little mouth on them living near us, I figured they'd pick up some words. Haven't heard anything worse than "stupid" or something near to that. And oddly enough, the word "stupid" was something Walter learned when a kid said it at church!
I told Carrie some time this spring when I heard her say "stupid" - not to use that "not nice word." She is a rebel and wanted to see what would happen. I warned her I'd wash her mouth out with soap.
So she said it again.
I put a teeny tiny dab of liquid hand soap on her tongue and it took her a while to wash that taste out. Walter was yelling and crying in the hallway b/c he thought I was hurting her b/c soap was bad to eat. I explained later what little drop I put on her tongue.
But, since that event, we haven't heard any "not nice" words since from either kid.
But what I have also done, is pause a movie when watching at home (we never go to the theater) - (and I will add that just because it's a "G" rated kids movie doesn't mean it's educational and "nice")...
but I'll pause the movie and point out that the character was not being nice.
But whatever we've done or not done...the name calling has slowed down to almost ceasing.
As far as the name calling, maybe she'll pick it back up again when near her classmates when school starts up again in the fall.
So we have this robin who built a nest under our porch. She had 3 babies and I figured she wouldn't be back. Just a couple weeks later she has 3 new babies. I have learned alot about robins.
Like, they are one of the few birds where the babies leave the nest before they can fly. So taking a step and falling from the nest is quite an act of courage!
I have been able to sit on my porch, even walk closer to the nest and the momma robin knows I will not hurt her or her babies. She keeps on doing her thing, never minding me.
I wanted so much to be able to see one of the babies leave the nest. I can sit by my window inside for a closer view, and today while I was on the phone, I decided to watch the birds while I was talking.
And one of the babies took their step of faith and fell from the nest. It was so awesome to see!
And how many people get close enough to view this kind of thing from 5 feet away?
Amazing!
So last night was not one of our most memorable nights as a couple. We were both tired, frustrated, and it made conversation and working on website stuff tough.
Now, we didn't exactly go to bed angry, but I knew we both needed to just stop and get some sleep.
This morning I moved an inch- to say, "I want to talk about last night" and to rehash it in a healthy, sleep refreshed manner. It was healthy and good. And moving that inch was not easy, I just wanted to leave it alone. No need to bring it all back up again.
But I did. And I think through that --we went a mile.
Which is neat, b/c today I am organizing my blogs and placing them in the appropriate categories with Bondware's new blog module.
And I come across some where I speak lovingly of Jeff. And I am reminded of just how important he is to me and why an inch is so very, very important.
So I thought my story of catching a fish without a worm or any sort of bait would be one of a kind. I did so when I was 8. Honest, my cousins are witnesses and can testify to it.
It's not one of a kind anymore. Yesterday Walter caught a fish with just a hook. Call it luck, call it the dumbest fish, call it skill at making a hook look like bait, ...call it what you will...but the legacy has been continued.
That tickles me. So he thought he'd just continue sticking his hook in the water. Good thing I convinced him that only happens once, he could have been one disappointed fisherman waiting and waiting for another dumb fish!
But that was just one of the many highlights of a fantastic, memorable couple of days spent with my kids out on the boat and camper- hanging out with my father-in-law....but I call him Dad. I have 2 dads- one from birth, one from marriage. Both are wonderful, fun Godly men that I look up to and love to hang with.
So Wednesdays are hard. Not anything extremely difficult or challenging happens on Wednesdays...it's just that middle of the week hump.
After the hump you've got Thursday which reminds you of Fridays which we can all tolerate.
So I decided this morning to accompany my morning coffee this Wednesday morning with a cupcake. And a Publix cupcake, at that. That butter frosting that so far I have found no one can hold a candle to. It was just the sugar to help the medicine go down, or just the right thing to help bring in the mid week morning.
Sure my poor physique -that hasn't felt the tone from running since April- could use some healthy fiber something. And it really didn't need the extra calories. But my taste buds are still thanking me and it's almost 6 o'clock.
So I am beginning to think sharing a desk is like sharing a bathroom sink.
There are a few differences- paper everywhere vs the tiny hairs, hopefully no foul smells coming from the desk- although, depending on who ate Indian, that can be argued either way.
But honestly, can two people share a desk?
My parents have one sink in their bathroom and they seem to coexist just fine. And they both share a desk and a computer at times.
So how is it that it is so difficult for us to share a desk?
I have a desk in our bedroom, but honestly, we have come to the decision that we need to take our bedroom back. It has become the "upstairs family room" and it has been a long time since it was anything close to a nice sanctuary.
But it will be a learning process- just like we are newlyweds sharing a bathroom. Sharing a desk. This is mine, this is yours.
But it gets trickier. Unlike the bathroom, where you finish what you start- I am constantly interrupted when I am working and set my things aside or leave them to attend to my two children.
And I am a mom first. Period. Almost everything else can wait.
So again, two people sharing a desk. Like two people sharing a bathroom sink. If I could finish what I start and clean up after myself every time, it wouldn't be this hard!
So I started to get a little tired...tired of serving. It seemed every time I turned around, someone needed something. And I gave a part of myself.
So Friday night I say to my husband, "I'm tired of giving. I'd like to just go on break for a while."
And where did we go Saturday morning?
To a woman's house to help put up siding. Her husband died a few years ago and never finished the project and she needed help. So I wasn't too terribly excited about going, but I went b/c Jeff wanted me to. And after working a few hours learning how to handle a cement shear (a very cool "Man-Tool") I had a conversation with this woman and found myself wanting to hear her story. And as I listened to her story, my heart went out to her and all I wanted to do is reach out and love on her and help her. My husband, Jeff laughed as we pulled away b/c I went from tired of giving of myself to seeing yet another need that should be filled. I guess I just can't help it. It's just a part of who I am. And Christ himself came to serve. And times of rest and "downtime" were necessary, even for Christ. And then you get back up and hear the voices of need and...go to them.
Ever have one of those days where you pour your heart out to God- and ask Him for something...for someone else...but then you feel let down? As if God owed anything to anyone.
I know.
And trust Him.
I know.
And He has a plan.
I KNOW!
But, honestly, I prayed and begged and pleaded for my older brother to have a boy. They had their ultrasound on their 3rd child today. Another girl. It's a healthy girl, so I should be doing jumping jacks, especially since one of the girls had a two vessel cord, kidney issues, etc.
And in the eternal grand scheme of things...does it really matter? Children are blessings and each one gives us joy unmeasurable.
But I can't help but to take my disappointment to God. And I feel that is what He wants us to do.
Be honest with Him.
That's the only place where He can start to do a work within us. Where we take it to Him and be honest. Dealing with the disappointment of someone else, to me, is harder sometimes then dealing with disappointment yourself. I know how much he wanted a father-son relationship.
So Lord, I'm disappointed...but I trust you. And I ask that those of us disappointed questioning ones would come to you with honest hearts, and that we would trust You. But we can only do that when You help us, Lord.
So my latest Carrie "thing" is that tonight we have a sponge down the drain in the shower. As I was taking Carrie out of the shower, I realized she had taken the drain cover off and was playing with a sponge. Well, the sponge went down the drain. We tried a bent metal hanger and the sponge has gone down the curved part of the drain pipe. So stay tuned for the latest developments. I just hope it doesn't include an expensive plumber.
So I had a usual, normal day of golf on Friday.
Sort of.
My shots were normal for me. Some better than others.
Here's where my golf game has become more and more enjoyable for me- and it helps me in my spiritual/emotional side of life as well:
I separate the good from the bad.
The bad shots, I close up in a box, and I mentally drop kick that box far away.
And the great shots, the ones that I want to call my husband, Jeff, or my dad, just to share....those shots I put on a shelf. Not because "it's all about me"- but because something went right, and I want to remember that to encourage myself.
So mentally, spiritually, I find myself reliving conversations that went wrong. And it happens more often than I would prefer, but that's probably the perfectionist side of me. I even catch myself making comments as if I was still in the conversation. I am not gifted in timing, like my husband. It's always an hour, or even a day later that I find the "clever" thing to say. Yep. Too late then.
The more I drift into the past, the worse I feel about myself. And the adversary knows it.
So, when I catch myself doing that, I put those moments in a box, and I close it, and drop kick it- all in my mind, but it still feels good to kick it!
And then I make myself think of a moment where things went right. Where I have helped someone, made someone laugh, smile, whatever. And instead of the adversary being in charge of my mood, it's me.
Well, the Holy Spirit inside of me, b/c the Holy Spirit is my coach. He is my director, he is my pilot. And when I am kicking the \"bad\" box and making it a point to find a "good" moment, that is the Holy Spirit working in me.
I back away and let the Holy Spirit help me remember. The adversary wants us to feel worthless, good for nothing, He will keep throwing attacks in an attempt to do so. It's the spiritual battle, people. We are nothing, we are. We are worthless, we are scum.
BUT the HOPE, the PROMISE, -not a future promise, but the promise of RIGHT NOW- is that we are beautiful b/c He made us that way...and He gifted us with beautiful things to GLORIFY HIM. We are wonderfully made inside and out because of Him. And that is enough right there to put Satan in a box and drop kick him and put our Lord Jesus Christ in a place where we are in constant praise.
So I have been wrestling around ideas in my head, trying to grasp the concept of Christ's death and resurrection blowing away the gates of hell and creating a way for us to go to heaven and including the battles still happening today.
He sits at the right hand of the Father. He said, "It is finished when he breathed his last breath." So what about the battles of today? If Christ's battle was won, what's the role of today's battle(s)?
Then the Lord made things a little clearer for me. Christ did blast through the gates of hell, he did make a way, Him. That battle has been won. But that was part of the battle in the war for the souls of men. There is a final battle, Judgment Day. But before that day comes, there is another battle happening.
The spiritual battle.
And here's what I think happened. Remember Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit into the disciples before his ascension into heaven. I think He breathed the Holy Spirit into them, passed the baton to the Holy Spirit, and now sits at the right of the Father. Christ's battle is complete, but the fighting continues. I don't believe Christ is up there sitting on his behind, I believe He is still active in our lives and in this other battle- b/c the three are ONE.
Just as in a track meet, the team is still fighting, even after the first leg/person/position finishes their lap or their particular portion of the race. That runner passes the baton, and the next runner takes the baton and continues the race. After the previous runner has completed their portion, that "race" has not yet been won. Perhaps that particular leg had been, but the race continues to completion.
You know, a while back at church, we were asked if we were ready to live our lives for Christ.
I felt that Jeff and I had already done that, involving all of us, including our family.
Specifically, I heard Christ ask if I would die for Him. I thought long and hard about that- I have always been afraid of death. I answered yes to that question.
Tonight I feel that I have been asked that again, but in a different way, would I allow Jeff to die for Christ? Not that I had any say in the matter, it's Jeff's life, and ultimately God's plans for Jeff.
But am I willing to trust the Lord and His plans for Jeff?
Am I willing to let go of Jeff for God's plans for me?
Am I willing to trust God enough to be at peace with the idea of my husband dying?
Tough Question!!
Tonight Jeff had to drive a friend to the not-so-friendly side of Nashville, the "projects." But not only that, Jeff had to wait in his car while his friend went into another car trying to get his "lost" cellphone back. It scared me so much. I thought, Lord, I'm not ready to give him up yet!! Please protect him!
And of course, I know fear is not from the Lord, so I then felt bad for being afraid. I know ultimately I'd be okay, in that...God would take care of me, He'd be the great healer- but -
Jeff is my best friend. He's my joy, my laughter, my comfort, my peacekeeper, my calmer-downer when I need one, my thermometer when I don't realize I'm getting so angry, my protector when I just need two strong arms to hold me. He's my alarm clock with a good loving kick/pat when I just can't seem to get up in the morning. He's the "Grillmaster," the "fixer" when I screw up hanging a curtain or whatever it is I messed up. He's my prayer partner, my spiritual cheerleader, my feet warmer when I can't take the chill out of my toes. He's the wardrobe judge when I need one, the ladder-climber when we need one, the computer handy-man, the driver, the lover, the listener, the last-minute-on-the-way-home-milk-buyer and the one I choose to put stickers on my calendar for. He's my nail-biting police, my last-minute-people-coming-over-toilet-scrubber, my reminder"er" my "body-appreciator"...no matter what shape it's in. He's my guy I run to to take the fish off my hook when I can't seem to get the "guts" to do it myself. He's the one I can vent to about the stupid petty things in life or the grandiose political messes. So God, as much as it hurts to say "yes, I give Jeff to you"....please keep him around for a while. And thank you, Lord. Thank you for Jeff.
I was thinking today about the relationship God had with Eve.
The God who is, was and always will be, who knows the future.
He knows who we are before He ever breathes life into us or begins to knit us together at the very moment of conception.
God knew Eve was going to take a bite and cause the fall of the human race.
God knew Adam was going to fail at being the spiritual leader of his household, fail at keeping his perfect helper from harm- even if it was harming herself.
God knew all this, and yet He still created Adam and loved him.
And He still created Eve for Adam, knowing what lied ahead.
He still created her with such tenderness and entrusted the population of the entire human race to her.
And God still chooses me. He knew everything I would ever do. He knows the desires of my hearts. He knows my weaknesses. He knew my failures long before He ever breathed life in me, and before He ever opened my eyes and heart and breathed His Holy Spirit into me. He knew all this, and yet He still chooses me. Not chose, but chooses me. He continues to use me even though He knows I will fail at times. That's some amazing love!
So today I was feeling a little \"blah\" In a rut. No good reason, either. The sun was shining, it was warm. I took my daughter to zoo class and had a wonderful day. So throughout the day, I felt that perhaps I was being spiritually attacked, that perhaps my joy was in danger. So I lifted my eyes to the Lord and told Him I would choose to look for the blessings and prayed that He would take care of me. Tonight I do feel better. But I definitely think that it took recognizing it and praying for and through it. I think I need a couple hours with my Bible and the quiet stillness to just focus on my Lord for a while. Because the reason why I feel blah...is because of me.
Can Carrie get any cuter? Really, it has been a great week and she has turned from 2 to 3 and on her way to 4. And she has been bright with cuteness the whole week.
Where does she get it? I'm sure the same place she got her fiery passion, independence, and stubbornness- her mother :)
She has gone 8 days at school- in a row with perfect obedience/behavior.
And that equates to four weeks!
Gotta love it!
Usually when I find myself asking God for something, I am wanting Him to fulfill it in a timely manner.
Especially when it has anything to do with job/finances. Th
e answer just can't ever seem to come as soon as I would like it.
Tonight I experienced God's perfect timing, and my patience level further polished. (It still has a long way to go!)
Our good friend and brother, Garry, is staying with us right now. Inbetween jobs, a fall 08 graduate from the Nashville Rescue Mission recovery/restoration program, Garry is a man after God's own heart. He is earnestly seeking his \"place.\" He feels such a passion for serving in ministry, perhaps a church. He has a story, a great story of hope!
So Garry has been awaiting a job for almost 3 weeks now. He took a job with a company where he'd be on the road driving semi trucks. It took him away from home/us, it took him away from his homechurch, where he was formerly teaching Sunday School and actively involved with the youth. The company where he was working was unprofessional, most likely involved in illegal activities and Garry has not been paid for 4 weeks of driving. Struggling spiritually to keep peace in his heart, Garry knew what he had to do. He had to trust God and wait for the job God wanted him to have- one where he'd be home. Garry went on a job search. It was hard. One particular company had possible job openings in a warehouse/manufacturing, and Garry had experience at Dell and other warehouses/manufacturing, so he felt it could be a good fit.
Two weeks later, after many calls, a week after the drug test...Garry is wondering if he needs to go back on the road just to have something! He prays and continues to put it back in God's hands...and tonight he gets a phone call. He needs to report to the warehouse/manufacturing site tomorrow at 6:30 am where he will start a week of training. Go God! Watching Garry struggle with patience, trying to listen for the voice of God, was tough on all of us. I knew going back on the road was not the answer, but how can he return to \"life\" without a job? How can you \"be a man\" when you can't even support yourself? Back and forth, good days and bad days and praise God, there is a job for him. Praise God.
I have seen the \"25 Things About Me\" on Facebook and I think that's pretty cool And I may vary well do that in my \"free time\"... But the book of \"me\" is only open a little bit. And there is so much more to me. So here it is, this is My Story And I feel led to share more:
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Back in high school, I knew the Lord, but I was wading in the shallow baby pool of faith, and then did the flip flop thing in college- go party then to lead youth praise and worship at church.
While in college, I saw my grandmother die and felt the presence of the Lord and the peace that I will never forget, but I still didn't know who I was.
And I think I wanted to surround myself with people who loved the Lord, but there were windows where I still was seeking to find worth, to feel beautiful, and looked for that in the absolute wrong place.
But my past has helped me see with different eyes, and it has helped me understand on a deeper level - the meaning of rescue. The year I graduated from college, God placed a ministry opportunity in my lap and it was the first time I meet friends who would show me what openness and brokenness was, and I met a man who I thought I would marry, he was such a man after God's heart. Although he wasn't \"IT\", it was my beacon that showed me direction and what to wait on.
My first year of teaching, I tried to surround myself with people that loved the Lord, I knew they were out there. And then I met my husband.
My knight in shining armor- human- yes...but the perfect puzzle piece for me. Handpicked by God. And together we have prayed and sought the Lord earnestly and after 9 years of marriage, 2 kids later, I see that marriage is designed to show you how to love the Lord, and God has given me a key, a window into the design of marriage, and it's beautiful.
We have our second Nashville Rescue Mission friend living in our basement. Not the typical \"homeless guy\" but a man who wanted to a second chance, and to do it right...so he went through rehab. And he graduated a year ago, and is living in \"transition\" in our basement since September. And he is without a job right now, so I am waiting patiently (most of the time not so patiently!) for God to move and get this man a job so he can be a \"man\" and eventually get a car, and get his own place, and move forward in this earthly life.
And I am learning on a deeper level what it means to let go of my children and give them to the Lord. Public school kdg, peanut allergy - I am trusting in the Lord and know that he is ultimately in better hands than I could ever supply. God's hands. And He has a plan for my kids, ...and for me.
and He continues to mold and shape me. Rough edges, this stubborn, independent woman who has a faster mouth than brain many times...I at times want to hide b/c my sin is exposed...but those who know me and love me stand on the sidelines of my race, cheering me forward...and some even take my hand when I stumble, and with God's love, I press on towards my prize. So to those who have seen the dumbest, hardest, painful, most embarrassing and shameful parts of me: (and there are many who have seen/experience me in this form) thank you for not judging, and thank you for forgiving me if and when I have caused any pain in your life. And hey, thanks for taking the time to read My Story :)
The chapter we studied last week was on sex and prayer and how they are connected-
how the absence of one affects the other in the individual and how it affects the marriage.
It was interesting to learn about how the absence of sex can inhibit prayer life and minor details in every day life.
Personal Testimony Jeff and I have been doing this for about 4 years now: The Holy Spirit revealed to me that it was so important to make sure I was paying attention to Jeff and helping him resist temptations that the adversary could throw at him.
I read in a book about a woman who started a “Honeymoon Jar.” Every time they “celebrated their marriage,” (sex) they put a dollar in the jar. At the end of every anniversary year, they use that money to celebrate their anniversary dinner. I went a step further, we have a “Honeymoon Jar” but I also have a calendar in our bedroom and I put a sticker on the day we “celebrate our marriage.” It holds me accountable to make sure Jeff is satisfied and focused and is not distracted. T
he “Honeymoon Jar” is not always as full as other years, but the real question is- Are we going to McDonalds or The Palm this year? Haha.
We have seen great things come out of this response to each other with our “Honeymoon Jar”- and so we then came up with the “challenge” to our community group.
So here it is- the J-MIC- the “Johnson Marital Intimacy Challenge”
Challenge
Set aside time 3 nights in that week to have some time for intimacy with your spouse.
This does not mean quickies people (sorry guys)
Time for undivided attention, for kisses, for holding each other, for releasing the sexual tension that can distract men.
Time to talk about your day- while looking into each others eyes… (hint) this is a great time to tell your wife why she is a “10 cow wife”
Here’s the story (we talked about it in group)
http://www.schooleyfiles.com/2006/10/johnny-lingo-and-ten-cow-wife.html
But in this challenge, I am going to add one more thing- I challenge you to take inventory of the blessings you see in your day- even the small things, and at the end of the day, or when you come together at night, share those blessings I think when you take on the mentality of trying to pay attention to the small things, it will be interesting to share those little things with your spouse.
I wonder what you see at the end of this week- what would your daily worship and prayer look like? How has it affected your marriage? How has it affected the way you interact with your children? I know for me and Jeff it will mean turning the TV off, close up the laptops, turn off the playstation, etc. And I think for us personally, it will be refreshing to connect with each other.
I am not making any resolutions for the year 2009. Only because I don't need a track record of what I have done right or wrong. I have certain things that I know I have to work on and I have always worked on them. And if anything new pops into my heart, I will work on those as my day to day life allows. If I make a resolution to run 4 days a week, or even one day a week and for some reason schedules, or just \"life\" gets in the way...why should I look at it as a failure? Nah, no resolutions here, just the ongoing pursuit of the Lord and happiness. That has always been my resolution. Not of 2009, but for life. It's my race, and I'll run it the only way I can, and I'll run it the way that only I can. Because it's my race. It's my run. And it's my life.
I am so glad that the weather was somewhat warm today. It made for a nice lunch and walk outside with Mom Johnson and Carrie and me.
Then, back at the Johnson parents house, you would find Walter at bat, Jeff pitching, and Mom J (Grandma) and Dad J (Grandpa) in the outfield. It was a blast. It was the breath of fresh air that I needed.
The walls of a house can drive anyone nuts!
Not that we should ever be in a place to judge someone's heart.
But, I think by what someone says or does, they can make it pretty clear where they stand.
I heard Obama say in a debate for the Senate seat (that is on YouTube) that if he were to meet Christ, he'd probably ask the question whether or not he was going up or down.
Now, I am confident that if anyone has to ask this question, they truly don't know Christ.
They know the story, and they may know the character in the story, but they don't know Christ as the son of God.
And I think the person who knows Christ would talk about their faith and their God with such honor.
It seems the political world throws around the word \"God\" and \"Christian\" and I would really love to sit down and hear who Christ is to them and see what their response is.
I'm not picking on Obama, I'm using him as an example.
If someone says, \"Do you know Sarah?\" Someone may respond, \"Yes, I know who she is, but I don't really know her.\" I think this is the same for many people who profess to be Christians.
It's not that they are intending to be liars. I think they just don't get it.
Until they know who Christ is, they think they get it. But until God opens their eyes and they accept and respond, they will remain in the dark. Figuratively and spiritually.
How do we approach this without offending anyone? If we were to say something, they may think we are being judgmental. There are Sunday School teachers out there teaching the story, but do they personally have a story? Do they hear the Holy Spirit? And when they hear the Holy Spirit, what is their response?
This isn't a holier than thou blog, this is an observation and response to a world being divided on a spiritual level. Those who get it, and those who think they do. And my heart aches for the many, many, MANY who think they know Jesus. Including the many churches out there, leading the wrong direction. Jesus, please help those whose salvation is not secure in You!!
I like postcards.
They let you know that person traveling has you on their mind.
As I followed the bus to Gentry Farms to the pumpkin patch this morning, I noticed the leaves changing colors, each tree in its specific designated time. Ever notice that?
The spectrum of colors from the variations on the theme of fall is amazing.
And it brought me to worshiping the Lord right there.
Thanking Him for painting leaves for me. Well, maybe He didn't paint the leaves just for Mindy...but He opened my eyes at that moment, so that moment ...was mine.
That moment God created just for me. It was all about just me and God. Nothing else, no one else, no distractions. He was thinking of me.
He is ALWAYS thinking of me. Wow. And that alone can bring me to me knees...just think about it...when you are taking in the beauty of nature and it brings you to recognize the Lord's presence in that moment. He is always there, we just don't always acknowledge it. It's like drinking in the very fresh air that feels so good you slowly fill your lungs with. Ahhhhh.....
I used to teach music and fall was the prep/rehearsal time for the Christmas (politically correct- "Winter") Concert.
Let me tell you, we started singing Jingle Bells and jingled all the way and back again from September to December.
I was so SICK of any Christmas music by Thanksgiving! Right when everyone else was just getting in the Christmas mood, I was ready to be done with it. Jeff would want all the pretty cheesy Christmas music on, and I just wanted silence. He used to call me the Grinch.
And rightly so.
Now that I am not teaching, I don't rush Christmas, but I am ready for it by Thanksgiving.
I think that is why I didn't pay attention to the debate at Belmont on Tuesday. I've been jingling for a long time and I'm kind of done with it now.
I know who I am voting for. For me personally, it all comes down one issue, and I know where I am standing. The debates are particularly helpful to those who aren't sure yet.
Me?
I'm ready to do my thing.
I'm ready to cast my vote, and continue to pray for our president daily...lifting his name up in prayer with kids.
And no matter who is president, we Christians have the responsibility to pray for our leaders.
So this is the first thing we pray for...
"Dear Jesus, thank you for our president, George Bush and the leaders of our country. Thank you for the Pastor Lloyd and the leaders of our church. Help them all to make good choices. Give them passion, purity, protection and peace."
And then we continue to pray for other things including our friends and family.
So next month - particularly the end- will be a good one, b/c we will put aside our political differences, and come together again as a united country.
And it will bring the beginning of the holidays.
Thanksgiving, where we remember all the blessings we have, and the wonderful country we live in.
And of course, it will bring about the Christmas mood- it will bring people together and bind us together around the love of the infant that came to save us.
I am really tired of the political debating ready.
It's not that either candidate is making me angry, I just grow tired of that time in our country's season where we seem to be severely divided.
And I don't do well with conflict, so political debate makes me uncomfortable. It's that people pleaser part of me.
As I sat pondering this last night when I couldn't sleep, I came back to a phrase, slogan, whatever- that our church uses. "Pray Vote Pray"
I love that phrase.
And really, it's all about Jesus. It does matter who our next president is, but in the grand scheme on the heavenly side, it matters so little compared to what people do with their faith in Jesus.
And if we are seeking Jesus and truly asking the Lord to guide us to the candidate that HE wills and not what WE will, if we put away our SELF and truly pray about it, then noone can argue with our decision on who to vote for.
If you can truly say "I prayed about it, I sought the Lord on His Will and what He would have me to do and I was quiet and still enough to listen" and you feel God leading you one way
than I have no place to stand in telling you that you are wrong. Not that I should anyway.
The key is to put away our self, close up any "rights" or "who should control what" and listen to the voice of the Lord, than we as a country will be blessed.
And I think I can be safe in assuming that the majority of praying people forget to ask God to Bless America on a daily basis, and I am convicted of this.
Maybe we don't have to force anyone to pray in school, but if we quit moaning about it and spent our time praying instead of arguing- on our own time and even in our own quiet places by ourselves? Wow, what a difference that could make!
And no matter WHO is president next, we need to pray for our leaderS.
Every night we pray with Walter. We used to start out praying "Dear Jesus, thank you for our president, George Bush, help him to make good choices" and now we add "and the leaders of our country" to that prayer. And we then we pray for the leaders of our church and we ask the God would give them
"passion, purity, protection and peace."
AND we will pray that same prayer in a few months and ask God to be with President McCain or President Obama.
And if your "choice leader" does not get to be president, and you forget to pray for the next leader, or pray with your heart in the wrong place, then you are doing more damage to our country than if you had not voted.
Our country was close and resembled a family after our towers and thousand of lives destroyed. Not that I am asking for another terrorist attack, but
What is it going to take
to get our country back to loving each other, and hitting our knees asking the Lord to help us, protect us, and bless us?"
And I understand churches not wanting to step in and step on any toes, but at least remind and urge your people to pray for our leaders!
AND LET US NOT FORGET THAT GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL!
You know that saying, "You'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders?"
Well, I can relate to that. I believe that life crept up on us like a scary monster and then BOO! There it was.
There was this short season where life was slowing down. It lasted maybe a week.
And when I mean slow down, I mean that season when I'm not doing 5 loads of laundry, tackling websites while watching 4 kids and cooking dinner...somewhat resembling a video on fast forward. If only I had 8 arms-the lucky octopus!
I was still busy, but the website load was down, I was balancing what happenings of school fairly well, and my house was somewhat organized. Okay, so I could find my car keys in a New York minute, and at least be in earshot of my cellphone in order to uncover it. It wasn't what we call museum clean, but good for the Johnson 4 household.
In about a week, I have managed to feel like I have lost my head. I have so much stuff happening and I am juggling too much all at once. How did that happen?
So I need to find my head again.
Not sure how to do it, things will only speed up. Leading community group, treasurer for the Middle Tennessee Seminole Club, and the role of "Supermom" are not easily juggled simultaneously.
At least I know where my cell phone and car keys are. And I know it's Wednesday...
Which only means that the trash needs taking out tonight, Sampson has a vet apt tomorrow, Carrie has preschool, Garry needs a trip into town for an interview, do I make dinner for the Ferris family? I need to schedule Carrie's 3 year check up, and who knows what else that I can't think of.
I need to find my head.
Should preschoolers be forced to nap?
How about lay still and quiet for an hour and a half?!
Well, Carrie turns 3 in two weeks.
She has not napped on a regular basis in well over a year.
She can at least play by herself for long periods of time, and that is helpful. She started going to Christ Church Mother's Day out/preschool (more like a pre-preschool) and this was her third day.
I am feeling like such a basket case today.
Should I force my daughter to lay still for an entire 90 minutes at rest time?
Last week it was dark and she had a hard time. I suggested giving her a book.
Today, she did have a book, and she still had such a hard time, my defiant little girl, that she cried and the director had to come in and calm her down and tell her lovingly and firmly to lay down, be still and go to sleep.
So okay, she cried herself to sleep. Therefore she took a nap.
Naps and my daughter don't work very well. An hour nap today -maybe- and she was up until 10 o'clock. And the only way to get her to sleep was to lay beside her.
AND, not to forget the possibility of restless legs. I have it, and she seems to need to move her legs a lot when trying to get to sleep.
Or is it just little kid squirms?
Am I feeling over anxious and being an overly concerned and over protecting mom when I don't want my daughter to be so miserable every day at preschool for so long?
And it's the last part of her day - the part that she'll remember.
I prayed that God would open the door for her and that she would get a slot if this is what He wills for her. And it's SO hard to know what to do! So let the kids who fall asleep after 30 minutes sleep, and then let the kids who don't watch a movie or something. That's my theory on it, but I don't have a degree in early childhood, but I am very experienced in my daughter. And I love her, and I don't want to force her to do things that seem unnecessary to me. She doesn't need a nap.
This girl has more stamina than a marathon runner. I know, I am one! So what to do?
I have been reading in Ezra where the Israelites were told by a decree from King Darius that they could not continue rebuilding their temple.
And they had prophets speak to them and decide to go ahead and do it anyway.
There they went, back to rebuilding, knowing it was going against any earthly \"sense,\" knowing it was breaking the rules, and they went back to rebuilding.
I love the boldness and courage!
There are plenty of things out there that don't make sense to us on the earthly scale. But if we stand on the rock, on the firm foundation and hold fast to the promise that He will take care of us, that He will never leave us nor forsake us...we will be okay.
And we don't need to seek applause from anyone out there, hopefully we are covered with prayer and not ignored or shrugged off b/c it simply doesn't make sense.
So who grows up when Walter goes to kindergarten?
Walter does. My little man all dressed up, all responsible, all ready for learning and new friends- ready to take on the world.
But I think Mommy grows up a bit here as well.
I am learning how to let go of something I hold so precious. I am growing up spiritually and taking this blessing of a child that the good Lord has given me and placing my little Walter in His hands.
He is yours, ultimately.
And so I am growing spiritually by learning more how to pray for my son, how to trust in my heavenly Father that He will protect him and show him the way.
And more generally speaking I have to grow up. I have to get up in the morning and prepare Walter for another day of conquering the world of kdg. I have to mentally have my game on as I prepare lunch, daily agendas and attempt to have him as prepared as he can be. Looking at the clock and making sure breakfast is served, teeth brushed, backpack ready and we are out the door one way or another in time for either the bus or the ride to school.
So Walter took to the monkey bars today. He got 3 rungs in and hollered for help. I told him he was not far off the ground and to just jump.
He started to cry, so I placed my hands on his waist so he knew I was there. Then he jumped. He didn't need me, and I didn't help him, I let my hands come down with him, but he did the jump.
So after that I explained that he could do it, and then I showed him how to swing to the next rung in order to grab it.
And with determination in my now 5 year old's face, Walter took to the money bars and showed them who is boss. He did it. And he was so proud of himself.
All in just the last couple weeks- he has:
1. Learned how to ride his bike without training wheels, by using the wrench and taking his own training wheels off!
2. monkey bars
3. read an entire book all by himself
amazing, simply amazing.
what is next?
The Levites are saying praises to the Lord, and in their praises, they are remembering what the Lord has done for them.
They start with praising God for his creation, in Nehemiah chapter 9 verse 6: \"You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you.\"
Then the Levites continue praising their God, remembering Abraham, remembering their rescue from slavery, remembering the ten commandments, remembering the provisions while they were in the wilderness. Then they go on to talk about their forefathers and how they turned their backs on God with arrogance and stiff necks. (verse 16) And they continue to praise God by thanking Him for being a \"forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.\" (verse 17)
And it continues on and on where they talk about the rebellious slow to learn ancestors and how God never left them.
What if we made our own book?
A book of how we have seen God provide for us, answer prayers, and talk about how we have had our times where perhaps we have not walked as close with God, and how He continues to bring His children back to Him. That way we can pass it on to our children - this legacy of faith and this record of what we have seen Him do.
Ever get mentally caught up in someone else's love story?
Sure, some of us women chics do, that's why chic flick romance stories are so popular.
I was reading some story about a doctor finally getting to marry his bride after being engaged for some time. I let my mind take me down a path of thinking how sweet it was, how happy they must be newly married, etc.
Then I thought, wow, I'll bet I can have an impact on how I view my own marriage just by the way I think about my marriage and my husband.
I do have a good story.
And if I sit on the humanly things about my husband, and see the qualities that are the least desirable to me, than I see him less and less of a \"knight in shining armor.\"
But what if I allowed the Lord to fix my eyes on the Godly side of my husband? A pastor at our church summed it up beautifully. Jeff is the perfect provision of a husband for me. My perfect match. And I think we make a pretty great parenting team. And I think we do a pretty good job sharing the love of Jesus to not only our family, but our friends and even strangers.
And so is my story worthy of chic flick material? Oh I definitely think so. But don't read my story, don't watch my movie, go get your own.
What does it mean to be truthful? Is anyone really 100 % truthful?
Are we all just a bunch of liars? After self examining my soul, I think in one way or another- that we are all liars.
It's so easy to take a story and take the truth out of it. Do we really remember accurately what someone said? The tone?
Even if you are quoting someone correctly, but dramatize the tone, I think that could be missing the truth behind what was actually spoken.
Especially if someone made you upset by what you said.
My tendency is to make the person's comments sound meaner than sometimes they were originally b/c it helps to defend my side of the story.
The Bible says \"Let your yes be yes and your no be no; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.\" and I think that sums it up fairly well. (Matthew 5:37) If you examine what you say and do, you, like me, will see areas in which we can improve on how we speak and live the truth. If you examine yourself and you don't find yourself short of living up to Jesus' standards of truth, well... I think you are lying to yourself.
After the wall had been completed, they stood \"as one man in the square before the Water Gate.\" They wanted the Book of the Law of Moses to be read to them.
They were hungry to hear the word of the Lord. And for hours it was read. From dawn to noon they read it.
As the Book of the Law of Moses was read, they stood up. They praised God and lifted their hands and responded, \"Amen! Amen!\" Then they bowed and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground.
What an awesome picture!
And they made sure that the people could understand what was being read. And they were so moved by this message that the people were weeping! And Nehemiah says, \"Go and enjoy choice foods and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is scared to our Lord. Do not grieve; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.\"
When we are broken, in our shambles, we empty ourselves -whatever seems left- to our merciful Savior and He fills us with strength, and He delights in this. Not necessarily delighting in our shambles, for I think our Lord's heart breaks with ours, but I think He delights when His children realize how much they need Him and start to realize how much He really loves us!\"
Well, I drew the line back a few weeks ago and told Carrie she could not wear her swimsuit to bed. Daddy is a soft one, for sure. Last night he got the kids ready for bed, and there is Carrie, nighttime diaper on and... yep. The swimsuit. Cute as a button, I didn't argue. I did tip toe in her room last night to cover her up. She had kicked off her covers. Leave it to my kids to correct me. Yes, Carrie, you can wear your swimsuit to bed :)
Running is a metaphor often used in the Bible, and it often mentions the race, the prize. Nothing for me can illustrate better the spiritual journey we have, and the necessary trials better than running a long race.
My cousin, Sarah and I ran the half marathon here in Nashville this past Saturday. Nashville's marathon/half marathon is a fun race. Full of hills, the Country Music Marathon entertains its runners and spectators with bands throughout the course.
What I found astonishingly lacking, was the thing many runners needed that day: Ben Gay type ointment at med stations during and after the race, (there was nothing but Aquafor) and the salt packets or pretzels or anything beyond Accelerade. It started off cold and raining, but by the time we crossed the starting line (and it took an hour)- it had stopped and was pleasant weather for racers. However, I believe the cold beginning played a part in fighting the battle to keep the muscles stretched and loose and warmed up.
Around mile 6 or 7 Sarah started to have leg cramps. She had 6 miles to go! About that time, we passed a church that had a band playing \"Beautiful One.\" It was exactly what we needed when we needed it. We both lifted our hands to the sky, singing along and praising God.
What a moment!
The band saw us, the spectators saw us, and together for that moment, we all were one praising God. That was the lifter we needed for the next few miles. Then Sarah was in great pain.
Close to tears, close to wanted to step out of the race, she ran and walked (when necessary) and kept going. I had no pains, I felt like I was doing fine. She told me a few times to just go without her. I said I would not leave her side. We started the race together, we would finish the race together.
A few times we stopped to stretch, and we walked on the uphills and near the end we did a lot of walking. But we finished. Sarah had her eyes fixed on the prize. She says she could not have done it without me by her side. I don't think I would have started the race had she not been running it, I had only trained to 6 miles.
So, we needed each other, and together, arm in arm, we crossed that finish line. We all need someone, along our journey, someone to walk (or run) with us, to keep us moving. Someone to keep us motivated when we could just care less some days, someone to have the drive in their eyes to press us on through the pain. Someone that we can go to when we are angry at God, that person who will stand beside us as we yell at God. And that someone who will give us a shoulder when we are at that place where we are ready to cry and give our weakness to our God. That person who then cries with us and walks with us to that place where we can see, and feel God's healing hands on us.
And we all need the ones cheering us on, maybe not the ones that we cry on their shoulder, but the ones who we may not know so well, and yet they clap and cheer and help us press on. And lifting us to to the Father. We are all runners, spectators, those who help with the water (living water) - that necessary fuel for our race...and there is a finish line.
And different from this earthly finish line- there is no pain when we cross our spiritual finish line. When we cross, we are finished. We need no bag of ice for healing. We don't need to gasp for air. And there is our biggest fan ready to embrace us with open arms, \"Well done, good and faithful servant!\" as he places the medal of honor from his neck to ours. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Even the ones that come with pain, for great is our reward.
We had a message at church yesterday about having a spiritual focus- a focus straight to the glory of God- where the "Onos" of Nehemiah can keep you from doing the great work of the Lord.
Jeff said sometimes the good things can distract you from doing great things. Sometimes we can get caught up in everyone's needs, and feel as if we need to help- that we may miss what duty the Lord is calling us to. We miss the task at hand.
Doing good things is good. It can still point to the Father, but when great things are done, many fruits will come of it b/c it exalts Him even further.
What good things prevent me from the great things?
I'd say my house could potentially keep me from doing the great work with my kids.
I had moved almost all the toys upstairs to the kids bedrooms in the fall...taking back my dining room. The kids don't like to play upstairs all day, they like the big open spaces of the main floor. They like being where I am at- when I am cooking and stuff.
So yesterday I decided that we would be a happier family if toys moved back downstairs.
IN fact, Jeff and I decided that our dining room table was nothing but a table for "stuff" and we took it upstairs to Walter's room and put a sheet over it. (Very light inexpensive table)
It is now Walter's "cubby/fort" area where he has a bean bag, a CD player where he can listen to stories on CD.
And we moved the train table from Walter's room to the dining room. What good is a dining room with a dining room table when you never use it? Now it's a toy room, and it works for us.
And we are happier that way.
Another Ono...
how about the computer, that can keep me from the great work...my kids.
Access to everything on the computer, answers to questions, messages from friends, shopping...and so much more.
Oh Lord, help me remember the task at hand- the summons I have been called to- Motherhood.
Help me to manage my time so that I can take breaks, but have a healthy balance so that I can be the best Mom I have been called to be
I told Walter and Carrie that they had to have a nap today.
We don't normally take naps, neither one of them go to bed very well at night, especially Carrie- if she sleeps.
I told Walter there may be something special later if he does. We may be taking the kids to Chuck E Cheese tonight with some friends.
They don't know this.
So I convinced him that something else was in store if he just laid down and had a rest. Carrie? She's still making noises almost 45 minutes later, and I have put her back in bed at least 5 times now.
In fact, I just came back from taking her shoes. We struck a deal, or so I thought...that she could wear her dress shoes to bed, as long as she stayed in bed. And of course, my "spirited" child decides her own agenda includes walking around with her shoes on instead of holding to our "agreement."
So I took them with me. Is it really necessary to fight this hard over a pair of shoes? Over laying down in bed and having a rest?
Can't she just trust me that perhaps on the other side of this is something worth sleeping/resting for? Worth listening and obeying and submitting to her mother for?
And how much I am like this with my Heavenly Father! How I can't see past my want/(what I think is my need) - for "shoes", my need for what I want right now, this moment, and not see ahead of me that perhaps God has something wonderful in store...so much better than a "pair of shoes"...or whatever else I have in mind. And if Carrie doesn't rest, she doesn't get to go to Chucky E Cheese, and here's where it really is going to stink...her brother doesn't get to go either. So how many times do we miss doing something for God and it would have blessed someone else? Hmmm....
Carrie was supposed to be going to sleep.
I found her, playing with her doll, with a fancy Christmas dress on, and a dress hat.
Cute as could be, at 10:00 at night.
How did she get the dress?
It was hanging high in her closet.
How did she climb up?
I asked her where she got the dress and she pointed and said, "in the closet" but she didn't tell me how she got something so high.
And we figured, what harm could it do to sleep in her dress. She wanted shoes and socks on, but she was so tired that she fell asleep with little arguing over that one.
So she went to sleep in her dress.
Tonight we were getting the kids ready for bed. She found her swimsuit in her dresser. She puts it on, wanting to sleep in her swimsuit.
For many reasons, we could not let her, and that was upsetting to her.
One- she is not potty trained at night yet...and not really even during the day.
So can't do the swimsuit.
Two- she kicks the covers around and off her at night, she'd be too cold.
So can't do the swimsuit.
I pick my battles, but on this one?
You can't wear your swimsuit to bed.
Whew I am tired today. I have dealt with one busy energetic two year old for quite some time with very little break.
The two year old seems to need less sleep than I do sometimes! And how does she do it? I love Carrie, but wow, does she keep me and everyone else around on their toes.
She seems to get her hand on everything around her.
I am now calling it the "Carrie Trails." She seems to leave a mess, something undone, something tipped over, something all over her...she snuck away for a minute. I promise! Only a minute! Or she'll do it right in front of me, before I can catch her. One day I'll sit back and laugh at how she kept me skinny, going from one trail to the next.
For now...(yawn)...I'm just trying not to get too far behind in picking up/cleaning up the trails. I don't remember Walter ever being this "into stuff!" Sure he could figure out the childproof locks, but the trails were few and far between compared to this chic.
I have realized in the past few weeks, that I have been under spiritual attack.
I have recognized it, and taken it to my Lord. I have asked others to pray.
And here is what I see happening.
Life- from my previous blog- Life can get in the way of being Holy. Sure can. Does all the time.
However, when taking the right focus, Life can be good.
You can always see the glass half full or half empty- depending on your "tude" (our fun name for attitude.)
I don't mean it as life can or can not be good depending on what mood you are in.
That's true, but it's also a state of mind, state of spiritual focus.
Life is hard, and gets in the way of our Holiness, and at the same time...life is great b/c those of us who truly believe, we get to walk this life with our Savior, Jesus Christ. And He shows up everywhere, blessing us with His presence. Whether or not we have eyes to see, well, that depends on our focus at that moment.
The glass is half full at the same time it's half empty. Life is happening all around us, to us, through us, with us.
Our mission as believers is to take this life and shake off the attacks that can bring us down, and stay focused on the prize set before us. To love others with the love Christ has given us with the duty to give it away.
When we have our "tude" goin, and the half empty glass -type of mentality and focus, we are missing what the Lord is doing, missing the joy.
He is always, never ceasing, always at work.
So I realized I was missing what God was wanting to share with me b/c I was stressed out, in my "tude"/half empty glass moment.
And God knew all along where my journey would take me...and how I would handle it...and I am still right where I am supposed to be.
Still sinning? Of course. But this time, I have my chin up and my head on the heavens.
Our spiritual walk is simultaneously full of "Life" that is
-hard, disappointing, exhausting...(you get my drift)
and
-joy, love, fruit
and
at this moment I choose to see my glass half full.
And perhaps when we set our eyes and mind to see it that way...perhaps our glass is actually fuller than halfway...
Ever have one of those days...where life gets in the way?
Praise God that "this too shall pass" and that we, for certain, can't measure up to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
If there was any way possible that humans could be perfect, I'd still miss the mark. By a long shot.
Call me a slow learner, 'tis what I am.
Call me human.
If we all lived in a bubble, praising God and speaking scripture all day long, would we be happy?
Is it just "life" that gets in the way?
Nah. I think if we lived in a bubble, some of us would be uncomfortable, b/c they don't work well in crowds...the whole claustrophobic thing.
Others would walk around telling others that they were off key and try to show them and teach them to sing better. Some would praise louder than others, possibly annoying their neighbor. Some others would just stop singing and praising b/c everyone else was doing it..what value was their little bit of praise?
And depending on which hour of which day it is, I fit into every category above.
I hate crowds unless I am in front of them. Perhaps it's a control thing. Perhaps it's an attention thing. Maybe a little of both.
When you are in front of a crowd, the attention is on you- and there is control. You won't get stepped on, spilled on, pushed around.
So I would not do well in a bubble.
And the teacher part of me loves teaching people- actually mostly kids. I get too nervous around grown up people and my brain stops working. Put me in front of 500 Kdg -3rd grade students and I feel at home. I know what to say, I know how to laugh, and I know they won't judge me.
Unless I wear a silly wig.
Then they'll just laugh and love me b/c I'm silly. And that's okay.
So would the teacher part of me try to teach adults how to sing? Maybe.
I could say I know a few adults who would love the opportunity to tell each other how to sing or live or whatever.
But I know I fit that description as well. Ever feel the need to point out someone's faults?
Or have yours pointed out?
The holier than thou teacher?
Yep, it hurts, it makes you mad, doesn't it?
Yes, show me how to potty train my 2 1/2 year old, b/c obviously YOU are the expert on not only potty training, but also my stubborn independent daughter. And then I'll show you how she chooses to use the potty in her play kitchen pots and pans.
Yes, this person would definitely try to tell others how to sing.
Am I guilty of this? Yep.
Does it make me mad when it happens to me? You betcha.
And sing so loudly they'd annoy their neighbor.
Okay...guilty. I like the way my voice sounds. Pride? Oh I don't know...I know it's one of my gifts the Lord gave to me.
Okay, okay, at times...yes...prideful.
I am thankful for not only the gift of song, but I'm thankful that my voice blends so beautifully with my husband. A match made only in heaven.
So I would be the one to probably praise a bit too loudly and annoy the neighbor beside me.
But in the same thought process, on a bad day, I can be the one in the corner. Not that I would think my voice is bad, but that I would think- what's the point? How does God hear my voice when everyone else sings so much better than I do?
We would be a mess.
Why? Because life gets in the way. Sin gets in the way. Our pride gets in the way.
So I'm glad we don't live in a bubble.
Some days I hate the fact that we have to live together on this earth.
People can stink.
I'd have a much easier time in the Garden with just my Father (okay, Jeff can come too)...but that's not my story.
And knowing me? I'd make Jeff eat the apple and we'd end up cold and bitter anyways.
Ever look at someone else's life and have questions for God about them- or even your own life? Why do I have to have a C-section? Why can't I have a baby the \"normal\" way like so and so? Why does this person have kids who will sit down and behave in public, and I don't? Why does this person pray for this? Wouldn't such and such be better? Oh the questions...and God says \"That's Not Your Story\" to me spiritually saying \"mind your own business\" and \"I have the plan for you\"- said with the Father's love, of course
We had a tree fall into our yard two weeks ago.
This tree had become our "thorn in our side" so to speak.
It was big- it almost hit our house. We need to get rid of it.
The tree that fell into our yard was not on our property.
It became a frustrating experience - trying to be patient, but trying to figure out how to get this thing out of our yard.
This situation caused us to be in some pretty responsive communication back and forth with someone in our neighborhood that was helping us figure out a plan.
What we thought we were dealing with was a tree in our yard.
And God spoke pretty loud and clearly to me this past weekend that "It's not about the tree" That was what God had used to orchestrate his plan.
Not only was the tree an avenue to bring people into our lives that share our faith, but it was also the spark that lit the fire for the need for prayer of protection over the neighborhood and the need to bring the community together...to position us all for the next chapter. I have felt for some time that God was calling me at some point to bring the neighborhood together.
Knowing that there were believers, followers of Christ in our community, our subdivision, I felt the need to bring us all together and make an impact in our community.
Link arms, build our "Wall of Jerusalem" and protect our wall.
While building the wall of Jerusalem, if a neighbor was in need of help, they dropped what they were doing and rushed in to help. That is what I believe God wants for the Highlands of Brentwood. And it had to start with a tree falling on our yard. Without the tree, I wouldn't feel the urgency to act to bring everyone together. And so "It's not about the tree" Praise God
I started to write a song yesterday called \"Spoken For.\" I just kept thinking about how I'm spoken for. Jesus is my groom and I am, we are- his bride! I belong to him, it is orchestrated and planned out and he has my heart. And no one can take that away from me. I'm spoken for. He's paid the price for me, he has bought my heart, my soul, my eternal place with Him- all purchased by his blood. And unlike a marriage on earth where vows are far too often tossed around so easily- our vow, our promise from our Savior is solid. Our Promise Keeper. It just sounds so precious and tender, I think when we are \"spoken for.\"
I don't have it all down yet - so far I have CHORUS I'm spoken for He has my heart He's paid my price and he has bought my soul I'm spoken for I am waiting for my groom He has gone to prepare a place for me In His house there are many rooms, he tells me And he's coming back for me (Chorus) I am His and He is mine I live under his authority I willingly serve My perfect King and my veil has been placed upon his shoulders
Wow I am reading in Nehemiah chapter 3 where they are working together to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem.
As I read along the many names, it almost started to bore me. Then I took a step back and really read it. I underlined the words of the significant pieces and places in the wall, I underlined professions of people who worked together. I am wowed at what I am reading.
You've got priests working, daughters working, perfume makers, merchants...people of kinds of different trades, working alongside each other rebuilding this wall. (Of course, their sections were wide, so it may not have always been close in proximity, but the sections were neighbors.) \"for the people worked with all their heat.\" vs. 6 Just for a minute, image the scene. It's rubble, it's destruction. It's not pretty. It's dirty, muddy, messy. It's depressing.
And it sits like that until God puts the fire in Nehemiah's heart and gives him a passion for bringing his people together not only to build, but to unite them. And you've got neighbors working together, HARD work, sweating, grunting, pushing, pressing on! And they are working on their part so diligently, and then perhaps for a minute, they step back enough to look around them and see everyone around them at work, and seeing how it will all come together. The work in progress.
How it must have have looked to see everyone working together!
And the wall is being rebuilt, but as it is being rebuilt, it is being reconnected
Is your neighborhood, is your church, is your community disconnected? How about your family? Your marriage? Even the best and most healthy marriages have a break in the wall at times. Some have been completely destroyed. What do you do? If you walk away, you most likely are leaving quite an awful mess of rubble behind. I can think of times where Jeff and I have been disconnected. And sometimes we haven't realized that our marriage wall has had some wear and tear in it, until a big wind comes. And so we have an argument, or whatever, and we look at the hurt. We look at the rubble on the floor.
And together we lift the first big boulder, if you will...and we together put it back into place.
And in Nehemiah, he had them rebuilding it while guarding it at the same time. And he posted guards to protect it. If our relationships would be like this...rebuild, maintain, growth, all the while on the lookout for any wind or enemy that would come to destroy it, and we are equip to battle them off. And if we could only hear the trumpet of one in need, and we pause our building for a minute as we join together to fight for each other.
I have been reading in 1st and 2nd Samuel about David.
The same David from one of our most loved and treasured stories, David and Goliath.
The more I read, the more this hero David from my childhood stories- seems -well, human.
He was a great leader, and wise and powerful king- with God's divine hand orchestrating everything.
However, David made some pretty bad choices.
One choice in particular, almost angers me, quite honestly. His son, Amnon, rapes his daughter, (Amnon's half sister) Tamar. David does nothing about it. His own children! His own daughter violated and her life ruined! So Absalom (Tamar's full brother) kills Amnon, and still David does not step in.
What kind of father is this?- I ask myself.
What kind of leader is this?!
And I found myself starting to judge him, see him as a bad leader, an incompetent and bad father. What a jerk! I start to think to myself. God revealed himself to me tonight in a beautiful and big way. I realized tonight by looking in Psalms that God loved David SO much! And David loved God! The love story is poured out in beautiful words for us in Psalms so that we may reflect on his love for us and His hand on our lives.
This David is the same David who has found favor in the Lord's eyes and heart. He played music for the king, he fought Goliath for Saul. He was a loyal servant to Saul. And God crowned David as King. So with God's hand and favor upon David, and with David seemingly in tune with God, how IS it that he MESSED up and missed the MARK! God reminded me that He takes sinners to glorify his name and kingdom. He uses the incompetent, the imperfect, human, sinful man.
Jesus himself came from the lineage of David, Jesse's son. David was a great leader. However, he made mistakes, even late in life. Even with all his faults, failures, shortcomings - God still used David.
Psalms reflect David's love for his God. And the scriptures reflect God's love for David. I think we should all look upon ourselves like a David. Lineage the opposite way, we, Gentiles, are grafted in and are heirs of the kingdom of God. And, just like David, we mess up. We fall short, and we fall...and there is God waiting for us to run back to Him so that we may receive His unconditional love and mercy, his forgiveness.
And God has a plan to use us. He wants to use us to be his hands, his feet, his light in this messy world. And He knows when we are going to fall and fall short of what He has called us to do- and still continues to write us in his plan.
That is so amazing to me. It humbles me. I am no greater than David. I have not been placed as a king or queen- nor have I killed any giants in the Lord's name. I fail, I make mistakes. I see the world, even stories in the BIBLE with my own eyes and not with His.
And yet, God still chooses to use me and still has a plan for my life so that my life may continue to bring Him glory. The unconditional, unchanging, promise-keeping love from our Maker. Knowing I will do things that is not glorifying Him such as in my marriage, as a mom, and God knew this all before time began, and he still gave me a wonderful husband and children. Because He loves us. Period.
Walter started doing harmless name calling the last week or so. Calling friends and even us, his parents, peanuthead...macaroni head.
I wondered if this harmless namecalling needed to stop. If it's all in fun, is it really a big deal?
Well, if the namecalling ever included an attitude of anger, or words that were harmful- then yes...it's really a big deal. So should we even allow him to tip toe through harmless namecalling? How do we explain the line between harmless and harmful name calling. I have come to the conclusion that it should stop all together. Why tiptoe through the beginnings of what could result in sin? Why entertain the practice of calling names- it will only get easier to do so when he gets older. And, I may add, it will eventually get easier and easier to get closer and closer to that line that separates harmful from harmless.
I spoke with his teacher today and she said they don't approve of their name calling- and apparently many of the 4 year old boys are doing it. I told her I was glad to hear that they don't approve and we will support that at home. No need to tiptoe through the terrain with a thin line.
Okay, I'm finally back home and that's the best place to be on my days off after flying around the country. So I started my trip on tuesday and got in last night, that is Thursday. Our first day we had a celebrity on our flight from chicago to Las Vegas. If you all don't remember, think back to the movie "Overboard" with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Remember the character Billy in the movie? Kurt Russells character's friend? the big guy with the big curly hair with his girlfriend Girty? Anyways, he was on our flight and he really is big and tall. So, the next day was pretty easy. Overnighted in San Antonio, very cold there. Oh yeah, we were in DC the first night which sucked cause the restaurant closed at 11 east coast time and we couldn't get food, so I boycotted them the next day and went to Taco Bell next door to the hotel and ate lunch. Thursday, our last day, was aweful. Our first flight from San Antonio to LA was horrible, course, it's LA for ya. This old, fat, mexican woman crapped all over the back restroom on the wall and on the toilet seat, even had it around the sink. I cleaned it all up, took 30 mins of the flight to do it. Totally lost my appetite for a day it was that gross. Well, got in last night and was stressed from the day. Had a few beers to relax at the apartment, and went to bed after a tough day. Got up today and got another blood sample drawn before my surgery on the 1st next month. Ok, gotta pay bills. I work again Tuesday. More to come.
We should be praying over our houses and our families daily for protection. Our angels are at war, and Satan's minions will try at anything. Do we get too comfortable? We have it good in our country. We feel so safe. And we fall for this piece of deceit. We are safe, but only by the blood of Christ. But it still doesn't mean we should sit back and forget that there is a war going on all around us. And we help fight that war by praying for protection and for being in the Word. Prayer has significantly huge power. We try to explain this to Walter, our four year old. I'm not sure how much of this he understands, but he will. The sooner he understands spiritual warfare, the sooner and better he is equip to help battle it. Battling it for our humans means to recognize it, pray over it, and give it to the Lord.
Yesterday we had a talk with Walter. He seems to be pushing, patting my breasts here of late. He did it yesterday to get my attention and we immediately told him that that's an area on people you are not allowed to touch, pat, whatever. This morning, Walter decided to draw my portrait. When he was finished, he called me over for my approval. At first glance, there were 3 sets of eyes. I asked about the 3 pairs of circles and Walter explains that the top pair were my eyes, the middle pair were my nose (nostrils) and the bottom pair were "those things" as he points to my breasts. So I decided it was time for Walter to know the anatomical name. Breasts, I tell him, those are Mommy's breasts. And so Walter becomes a boob man at the age of 4. "And this," Walter continues, this big thing is your nose...this is your nose, Mommy." Thanks, Walter.
I went to the Music City Bowl game yesterday with Jeff and his dad.
The Florida State University Seminoles were playing the University of Kentucky Wildcats.
There were 11 starters on the Seminole team that were suspended due to cheating. Not only are they suspended for this game, but they are suspen
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