I have a friend who is probably on a plane right now.  She is taking a much needed trip with her husband.  A trip full of hopes for rest, relaxation, and an intimate reconnecting.

Their marriage was, is broken.  They have gone through things I don't know about, for she is a new friend and I don't know their story.

And I don't need to know, really...all I need to know is that they need my prayer for this time and I will be there for her in prayer.

I thought to myself this morning- really, every marriage is broken. 
How can I say such a difficult statement?

Well, who spends more time with a spouse...than the other spouse?  You live together, you sleep together, you share a bathroom...
Two flawed sinful people who are selfish...married.

Flawed?  Sinful?  Yes.  We all are.  And we are all selfish.  If we took a microscope, a powerful microscope and held it to ourselves, we would see that we don't love our spouses the way God does, the way God wants us to.

If you don't believe me, spend some time in the Word of God- James alone is a great book that exposes our hearts.  But it's all over the place.

We are unable-physically, emotionally incapable of doing it alone.

And so it points us to THE source of everything we NEED.  Jesus.

And so every marriage is broken...b/c we aren't Jesus.  We aren't perfect and we break those promises all the time

"Do you promise to  love, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor..."
yadda yadda....you know the tune...

We can't keep those promises...we THINK we do, but if you really examined yourself closely to the standard of excellence...which is the standard of perfection...you'd see we all fall short.

We all have broken marriages and we all need healing.

And so I pray that whoever reads this- that their marriage gets a spiritual "nudge"- maybe "lift" of tender joy from the only One that can give it purely.

Oh Perfect Healer, mend our marriages- thank you for helping us see how broken we are...because that is the arrow we need to point us in the direction to come to You.  Help us to love one another the way You  love us.

It sometimes is easier to be married...in bed.

Think about it, in our moment of intimacy, do we hurl accusations at each other?  Are words misinterpreted?
No, sweet, sweet loving takes place.  Not just sexually.

Every person has that moment where we miss the mark in loving our spouse...outside the sheets- speaking here.

We get angry, we misinterpret what the other has said.
We get hurt. 

That's really the bottom line, isn't it?

We get hurt.

And the finger pointing blame game makes it worse.
Does it really matter?
Someone is hurting.  Period. 
A relationship has been wounded.

So how do we avoid missing the mark?
Well, I think it starts by knowing the truth.
We will miss the mark.     Our spouse will miss the mark.
We can never be perfect, we can never love our spouse the way God does.
And our spouse will never love us the way God does.
But if we fix our eyes on Jesus and his steadfast love for us, perhaps we will miss the mark LESS.  And so will our spouse.

And in fixing our eyes on Jesus, perhaps we can connect in different areas... on levels that have the same intimacy as our bodies do when marriage is celebrated sexually...
What would our marriage look like?

So let us love well...outside the sheets as well.