Here I am again
A very familiar place.
Sending my second (and God willing last) child to kindergarten feels like sending a child off to war.  Well, maybe not THAT extreme.

But to me it is a very fearful place of having to completely trust that she is going to be okay.  She is wiggly, she is stubborn, she has to work on self control.  She can be difficult.
And her very first teacher in school is...a first year teacher?!!!

Yikes!

God....are you sure...?

Let's take a look at four years ago.
With my son, it was a different fear.  He has always been a good listener, a good rule follower.  I had little concern of his ability to adapt to a classroom environment.
But he had a peanut allergy.
Taking my hands off the steering wheel- and not being in control of his environment scared me.
Four years later, I'm good with it.  He's doing fine, now in third grade.

So here I am again.  No peanut allergy, thank goodness.  But it feels- again- like I have to completely let go and trust that they are in better hands...God's hands.  And really, they have truly always been in His hands.

And my children belong to the Lord.  He gave them to me for a little while, a borrowed gift, if you will.  But they are not mine.  So who am I to take a gift wtih a note that says "I have a plan..." and NOT trust The One who gave it to me?  The one who gave it to me knows all along the path they will have to take.

And I am in a place where I feel like I don't have control.  I can't "fix" this.  I can't make it all better with a hug and a cookie.  I HAVE to allow her to go through this time.  As painful as it is, for both of us. 

But I don't think I'm alone.

I don't think God watches His children go through painful times of growth without a care.  If it's painful for me to watch, her earthly mother...how hard must it be for her Creator, her Heavenly Father to watch?

I HAVE to trust God.

"Fear not, for I am with you"  He tells us in his word.  (Isaiah 41:10)